If Conservative Media Reported Events Like The New York Times Does: The Recent Obama Oval Office Address.

September 2, 2010

Note: Before we get started today I just wanted to thanks President Obama, who in a recent interview with Brian Williams said those broad dark forces of The Vast Right Wig Conspiracy are still at work…D%*m right, Mr. President!

Now todays Article….

Ten of thousands of people tuned in to hear a broadcast organized by the handlers of President Obama, a liberal politician and former community organizer. The self aggrandizing speech took place from a site where Abraham Lincoln once worked some 150 years ago.

The address, which was stiffly read from a teleprompter, was advertised as an announcement of the end of combat operations in Iraq but actually a sales pitch for Mr. Obama’s failing economic and legislative agenda.

The broadcast, which was listened to by a mostly white middle class audience, failed to mention several facts, among them that Mr. Obama, former cocaine user, had not supported the so called “surge” in Iraq which military experts regard as the key to our success in that country. This is understandable since Mr. Obama, who once bowed to the King of Saudi Arabia, has little experience in military matters. It is also well know that Mr. Obama, who still smokes, and many in his government had not supported the surge and predicted its failure. Mr. Obama, who has yet to produce a birth certificate, also failed to mention that this troop drawdown and the surge were instituted by his predecessor, George Bush.

Mr. Obama, who once attended an Islamic school, had promised in his presidential campaign to have all troops home within a year of his taking office, left behind 50,000 American “support” soldiers. Among them are a reported 2400 special forces who are allegedly tasked to kill random Iraqis who are suspected of being terrorists.

Sources inside the White House report that after the address sycophants gathered around the President and congratulated him on a job well done.


The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Paul Waldman Needs a Clue!

August 25, 2010

I was surfing the internet yesterday and came across an article about the current state of political comedy by Paul Waldman. The article “The Joke is on Us” was posted on the far left website “The American Prospect.” The subtitle of the site is “liberal intelligence” which is, of course, an oxymoron. That aside, the premise of Mr. Waldman’s article is that there is a dearth of humor about Barrack Obama. It reminds me of when Nixon was elected New York Times film critic Pauline Kael being shocked because only one person she knew voted for him.

Mr. Waldman further postulates that this lack of Obama material is because he is so cool, so intelligent, and so unflappable that he is immune to being made the butt of any jokes! He actually says, “…our current political leadership isn’t all that funny.”  I assume he includes the Vice President in that statement so apparently he and I hear different Joe Biden sound bites. I strongly doubt he has ever listened to Rush or Glen who daily skewer Obama, Reid and Pelosi. Mr. Waldman, like Ms. Kael suffers from having a limited circle of exposure.

Before I get further into that, let me just say a big “thank you” to Mr. Waldman for reinforcing a concept that I have written about several times: Conservatives have a better sense of humor and are more willing to be self-deprecating than lefties. You see, my fellow right wing nut jobs, in Walden World, Bush, Rush, Palin and anyone else who isn’t hastening the “Marxization” of America is a moron who should be belittled for their obvious lack of intellect. Leftist never do anything foolish. All of thier causes are above mocking.  Let me illustrate: Q. What do you call four feminists at a protest march? A. That’s not funny you chauvinistic, racist right wing moron!

Anyway, Mr. Waldman claims two things that I find absolutely amazing. One is that the lack of “Obama” material the general public is exposed to isn’t the result of the ideology of the “mainstream” comics. He says,

“There was an assumption that since they’re a bunch of liberals, the comedians wouldn’t go after Obama. But if comedy has an Obama problem, it doesn’t have much to do with ideology. The guy is just difficult to mock.”

Can anyone name a major mainstream comic beside Dennis Miller who is conservative? How about a late night talk show host?  Letterman? Leno? Fallon? Kimmel? Mr. Waldman points to Jon Stewart for doing a credible job of taking on Obama.  When Stewart does take a jab at the President it is usually because Obama for not being “progressive” enough! In Waldman World the only thing about Obama that’s funny is that he is such a centrist!

The second is that he doesn’t see any way to mock the President.

“Politicians who make good targets for humor tend to have a personality feature or physical characteristic, like a particular accent or a distinctive set of gestures that are easily identifiable and thus can be exaggerated to make the politician look foolish, because exaggeration is what impressions and satire are built on.”

Alright, you knuckle dragging, mouth breathing right wingers; here is a quick comedy quiz. I know that none of you are as smart as Mr. Waldman, after all he works over at Soros funded Media Matters but let’s see if you can you name a physical trait of Mr. Obama’s we could mock. Anyone say “ears?” Those Dumbo sized, suicide door lookin’ Prince Charles mud flaps. Oh my! I said “mud” in a sentence referring to the President, that’s not funny! I must be a racist! Now let’s turn our attention to personality features. “Arrogance” ring a bell Mr. Waldman? How about stammering when off prompter?  How about being oblivious to the economy while your wife spends millions on a vacation in Spain? How about trying to convince the American public that the cost of two first class tickets covers the cost of that vacation? In comedy this type of humor is known as “true story,”  just the fact as they happened are funny.

Finally, Mr. Waldman asks,

“But what’s the joke about Obama?”

With the help of a few comic friends I will give Mr. Waldman some samples which I am sure he won’t find funny.  Feel free to add your own in the comments!  

“What is the difference between Osama Bin Laden and Barack Hussein Obama?  One is an anti-capitalist who hates America and wants to destroy Israel, and the other is hiding in Afghanistan.” Mark Klein

“All during his campaign, Obama’s claim to fame was that he was a community organizer on the South Side of Chicago. I was just on the South Side of Chicago – it ain’t too organized.”  Drew Hastings

“The new Obama economy game show: “American Idle”.   Sam Griesbaum

He is called “Vice President Biden” because the phrase “hot air balloon” was already taken. Mark Klein

“If we could harness the wind generated by Obama’s ears and mouth we would have energy independence!  Jeff Jena

“People were once comparing him (Obama) to Jesus Christ. On the economy he seems more like Moses; wandering around aimlessly, blaming everything on the Bush.” Tim Slagle

“If you cast a ballot for Barack Obama are you voting Democrat or Demigod?” Gregory Peterson

“Obama inspired class envy: The original green job.”  Sam Griesbaum

Q. Why is Barack Obama running for office as a Democrat?
A. The Communist Party didn’t have enough voters.  Author Unknown.

“In reaction to Iran launching a new missile and starting a nuclear reactor President Obama is going to ratchet up the pressure. This time he is sending them a very strongly worded letter!”  Jeff Jena

Obama puts the “dip” in Diplomacy.  Sam Griesbaum

“Obama would have had an opinion on the gulf oil spill earlier but his prompter was in the shop.” Jeff Jena

 “Pres. Obama announced $118 million in stimulus monies to increase high-speed Internet in Ohio. Presumably, so he can get all the bad news to us faster.”  Drew Hastings

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Rethinking Afghaninam

July 19, 2010


As we approach the nine year anniversary of our involvement in Afghanistan it may be time to reassess our commitment to nation building there. Immediately after 9/11 I believe almost all Americans were in agreement that we needed to be in Afghanistan. As late as the 2008 presidential campaign even the far left led by then Candidate Obama was saying things like, “Only a comprehensive strategy that prioritizes Afghanistan and the fight against al Qaeda will succeed, and that’s the change I’ll bring to the White House.”

 Any person who is at all informed about this conflict is aware of the history of other conflicts here. The British and the Russians could not accomplish what we are attempting: to unite a tribal and corrupt land into a cohesive and functional government. The British tried to rule by colonial imperialism and the Russian by installing a puppet regime. Both failed. Since the time of the Spice Routes and Gengus Khan the Afghan people have had some seemingly inbred resistance to anything more organized than tribal anarchy.

Now we are nine years, many hundred billions of dollars and most importantly several thousand American lives into trying to establish a new democracy in a region that hasn’t quite gotten the hang of the 19th let alone the 21st century. As much as I hate to admit anyone on the left is correct about anything, liberals may be right when they call the War in Afghanistan the new Viet Nam, but not for the reasons they give.

Since sometime in the middle of President Bush’s second term the war in Afghanistan started to resemble Viet Nam a political farce and an exercise in futility. I date it to the day when four Americans bodies were hung on a bridge and our response was to do nothing. When The State Department becomes more important in the running of an armed conflict than The Pentagon the effort has gone seriously awry. Handcuffed by rules of engagement that are more at home on a school playground than in a war against terrorist and a dithering new administration which takes six months to decide to send General McChrystal half a surge our brave men and women are now rising their lives for  political correctness. On top of that put the arbitrary withdrawal date President Obama has announced and we have the cherry on top of a sundae of stupidity we have concocted. Is it any wonder that the general washed his hands of the entire mess?

I may not understand the military and war since I never served but I always thought that you should go in and pound your enemy into the dirt until it wasn’t possible to hit them anymore and then smack them just once or twice more for good measure. Since Jimmy Carter dithered during the Iran Hostage Crisis radicals in the Middle East have viewed us as weak. Unfortunately Ronald Reagan didn’t give them enough reason to change their minds. President Bush Sr.’s liberation of Kuwait and refusal to entirely crush Saddam Hussein then were further signals that we were hesitant to be serious. Clinton’s occasional bombing of an aspirin factory or deserted training camp also did little to show terrorist that we had the stomach for serious battle. It is reported that Saddam did so much serious saber rattling because he didn’t believe Bush the Younger would do much more than Clinton had.

This is the point that the Left misses about both Afghanistan and Viet Nam. It’s not that these were unjust wars or unwinnable quagmires but that our politically led, half hearted effort doomed our military. With the new Obama withdrawal announced the Taliban and Al-Qaeda can now simply wait until next July and then get back to the business of plotting their attacks against America just as the Nixon announced withdrawal from Viet Nam let Uncle Ho know exactly which day to start celebrating.

My question is why are we waiting until July? What is it that President Obama thinks is going to happen between now and then that might change the history of over 1000 years of conflicts in Afghanistan. To waste one more American life in this dance of political posturing is a far greater war crime than any the Left ever imagined were committed by the hated Bush/Cheney/Halliburton troika. Remember Obama’s pledge during the campaign to continue and win the war in Afghanistan and to go into Pakistan and hunt down and kill Bin Laden? How’s that working out for us?

THe Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Hollywood Hates the South

June 10, 2010

I was reading Pam Meister’s excellent piece on Big Hollywood about Hollywood’s lack of attention to the continuing ecological disaster in the Gulf. In it she echoed my sentiments from a month ago when I wrote about the lack of Hollywood’s attention to the floods in the home of country music, Nashville.

I have also noticed that most of Hollywood’s liberal elite’s never seem to take a position in opposition to the current administration. For example, how much outrage have we heard about Guantanamo lately? Answer: none. How many antiwar demonstrations have we seen since President Obama escalated his war there? Answer: very few. Now that I’m thinking about it how much media coverage do we see about far left true believers like Cindy Sheehan who are still protesting since the new administration took over? Answer: darn little.

Since drawing attention to the situation in the Gulf of Mexico would also draw attention to the lack of leadership by the President, Hollywood has been laying low. Owever,How I believe there is another reason: Hollywood hates the South!

Why, would liberal Hollywood types hate the South?  They are indulging in an out of date stereotype about the people who choose to live there. You see, Hollywood liberals get most of their information about life from the movies they make. They think of the South as the South from 1956. In their world anyone who is white, conservative and from the South is obviously a bible thumping, uneducated, red neck, racist with a white robe and hood stashed away somewhere nearby. When it comes to politics Southern States are deep red except for New Orleans, an area worthy of their charity. Think I’m wrong? Look at the imbalance between Hollywood’s help to The Big Easy and the rest of the area affected by Katrina.

In the Hollywood stereotype Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi are the center of the GOP stronghold called “the solid South” and that area deserves whatever karmic destruction is sent their way.  Maybe when the oil starts hitting Florida in mass quantities they will begin to show up to clean some pelicans. Then again, that is the state that cheated Al Gore out of the White House. Hey, speaking of Vice President Green Jeans where has he been through all this. Isn’t he the Nobel Prize winning expert on the environment?

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Oil, Oil Everywhere, What’s a President To Do?

May 30, 2010

Even though some minor Democrat somewhere made a weak attempt at blaming Bush and his administration for the environmental disaster in the Gulf, I have to come to the aid of, and this really hurts me to say this, President Obama.

A lot of my fellow right wing nut jobs are kicking the President for his lack of action on the BP oil rig disaster. While there are some things the President should be doing, like giving military manpower to the Gulf States to set booms and do what they can to prevent oil from coming ashore and cleaning it up when it does what should the President be doing?

I asked the same questions when Bush was being lambasted by the left during Katrina Do we expect the President to get in a mini sub and go down there and give one of his sternly worded warnings to the oil flow?  What the President should do is be quiet and let BP have whatever resources it needs to try whatever possible to stop this incident and clean up the mess. There will be plenty of time for blaming, lawsuits and spinning this to political advantage when it’s over. If the President wants to go to a beach in the bayou and have his photo taken through a long soft focus lens hugging an oily water fowl that’s ok with me but let’s not confuse that with “doing” something.

As a supporter of drilling for oil anywhere and anyplace I am shocked that there were not several redundant safety systems to prevent this type of accident. I assumed that all the smart boy engineers at the oil companies may have foreseen that at some point a worst case scenario could happen. I don’t know what deep water shut off valves and other safety measures would have could cost BP and the other companies but I am pretty sure it would have been less than they will be shelling out over the next umpteen years to settle this disaster.  

As a conservative and free market supporter I would rather 25 cents a gallon more for deep water protection than the same tax to the government.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Are You Kidding Me? Senate Cheers Calderon

May 21, 2010

It’s one thing for the First Marxist in the White House to stand up next to the President of Mexico and denigrate our country. After his bowing to kings and dictators around the world and apologizing for anything our country has done we have come to expect his “America Sucks” attitude. However, he is our moron who won his seat behind the big desk and the right to read off the First Teleprompter fair and square and has the right to say what he wants.

It is another thing for the President of a third world dump which is run by drug cartels to come here and lecture us on our laws. Perhaps Jefe Calderon would like it if we adopted the same laws they have in Mexico to deal with illegal aliens. Here is what they do: They require them to carry papers, actively search for illegals, it is against the law for anyone without a permit to even apply for a job and if they are caught they are sent home. Of course the Hypocrite of the South doesn’t want us to have or enforce similar laws. Why? Billions of dollars are sent to Mexico each year from the U.S. which props up their shaky narco-economy.

If any American who watched the Democrats and a few RINO’s stand up and applaud this corrupt third world tinhorn wanna-be Chavez ever votes for a Democrat again then you deserve the country they are trying to lead us towards.

Then of course there is LA. Los Angeles is “boycotting” Arizona, except not really. Mayor Villaraigosa is just doing some grandstanding for those who don’t read or think too much. Has Los Angeles or any other place in California said they no longer would like folks from Arizona to come there on vacation? No! I heard a report recently that 25% of LA’s power is generated and purchased from Arizona. Will LA stop buying energy from Arizona? Don’t think so. I could go on but here is the real hypocrisy; there pompous elitists want to protect all the Arizona illegals from racism and harassment? Invite them to come to LA! Send a bunch of city buses over there to pick them up and bring them to the sanctuary of LA.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Hollywood Ignores Nashville Tragedy

May 9, 2010

A few years ago one of the most culturally significant cities in the United States ended up under water and millions of Americans rushed to her aid. A lot of conservatives and liberals joined church and civic groups and headed to The Big Easy to help rebuild the city. The Hollywood elites got in front of the cameras and opened their checkbooks, which was great. They also opened their mouths and unloaded on President Bush about his lack of action which I found a bit pompous and hypocritical. Now their hypocrisy has resurfaced. As a friend of mine in Nashville might say, “they have showed their ass.”

Nashville is drowning and Hollywood is nowhere to be found.  Country singer Julie Roberts has lost her home and yet Julia Roberts has yet to send help. Where are Brad Pitt and the rest of the Hollywood liberal elite who rightfully rushed into New Orleans now that culturally significant sites like The Grand Ole Opry and The Country Music Hall of Fame are under water? When will Bono write a song?

The President has yet to tour Nashville and given comfort to the American families hit by this disaster. So where is that rude fellow Kanye West? Why isn’t he on television proclaiming that the current President hates country folks since he has taken no real action to help Nashville? Why doesn’t he step up to take the mic from Taylor Swift again and match her $500,000 donation to the relief efforts?

To anyone who dares look at the ugly underbelly of the situation the answer is obvious: racism! You see the majority of the folks who have been affected by the flooding in Nashville and the surrounding areas are white. I am sure they are also perceived to be redneck hicks who might be conservatives by the Hollywood elites.

There are some relief efforts underway.  On Thursday evening, May 6, a group of country stars had a telethon on a local channel featuring Vince Gill, who was directly affected by the flooding, Keith Urban, Alison Krauss, Naomi Judd, Darius Rucker, Phil Vassar, Steve Wariner, Buddy Jewell, Lonestar, Bo Bice and Lee Roy Parnell. None of the major networks carried it live of course. I guess white folks drowning in rivers and being ignored by Obama isn’t as newsworthy as that evil George Bush. Perhaps the Obama Administration is still researching some way to blame this on Bush before making a statement.

Het where is Ashley Judd? I thought she was a country kind of girl?

Here is a link to Nashville station WKRN and a list of organizations helping with relief. http://www.wkrn.com/global/Story.asp?s=12425089