The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: A Limited Recount in Tehran

June 18, 2009

Q. How many young Iranian voters does it take to oust Ahmadinejad?

A. More than they have, apparently!

Remember student council elections in high school. You took it so seriously, as if … Like if you just elected the right person you’d get rock music over the PA in the morning and no final exams. When I look at things like the beauty contest election in Iran for President, an office with about the same amount of  power, I wonder how afraid the puppeteers on the council of twelve high muckity-mucks must be that they won’t allow someone who they had to approve to run for office actually win.

In a statement the Guardian Council said they might be willing to have a limited recount of some ballot boxes. Remind you of anything? That is exactly what the Al Goristas wanted to do in Florida a few years back. Fortunately for us, and yes I mean you Progressives too, we let the lawyers handle it while we had a cookout and a few beers and when it was over we traded snide comments rather than bullets in the streets.

Here is the thing about the election, the Guardian Council and Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, said that Ahmadinejad won 63 % of the vote. I think if you are going to tell a lie you should at least make it a believable lie. Like folks who listened to Wilt Chamberlin claim how many women he had slept with or Clinton saying he smoked but didn’t inhale I think the average Iranian just has a problem thinking his guy got beat that badly. I think the over/ under was only 55%.

Another problem is that the Supreme Leader, (What a great title!), has already said that the election results were a “divine verdict.”  That’s a tough position to back away from when you are not only the political leader of a country but its religious one as well. A Mr. Abbasali Kadkhodai, who is a spokesman for the Guardian Council said there might be some changes to the vote tally. So you see, maybe the current puppet president won by only getting 61%. Our Bad!

The Iranian government has termed the protests “unauthorized gathering” and Janet Napolitano wishes she would have thought of that term before the Tea Parties!