The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Morons! I am Surrounded by Morons!


Every time Alec Baldwin opens his rather large pie hole I feel like Struther Martin in the movie “Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.”  There is a scene where Butch and the Kid are riding down a mountain with Martin who plays the boss of a mining camp. They are looking for bad guys at every turn. Martin tells the guys there is very little chance of being robbed while they are going to get the payroll and them utters, “Morons! I am surrounded by morons!”

In case you aren’t familiar with some of Mr. Baldwin’s more erudite comments let me walk you down a memory lane of some of his greatest hits.  Way back in 1998 Mr. Baldwin called for the killing of a federal official. Here is the quote:

“I’m thinking to myself if we were in other countries, we would all, right now, all of us together, . . . would go down to Washington and we would stone [Republican U.S. Representative] Henry Hyde to death! We would stone him to death! Wait! . . . Shut up! No, shut up! I’m not finished. We would stone Henry Hyde to death, and we would go to their homes and we’d kill their wives and their children. We would kill their families.”

He later claimed he was “joking.”

Last year he insulted two ethnic groups with one comment about getting a mail order bride from Russia or the Philippines for procreation purposes. Apparently being a big TV and Movie star doesn’t have the same sex appeal it once did. Isn’t it sad that Mr. Baldwin has gone from Kim Basinger to begging for sexual slavery on TV? The government on the Philippines was so incensed by his comment it banned him from traveling there.

He later claimed he was just “joking.”

He has also called Vice President Dick Cheney a terrorist. Here is the quote,

“Cheney… terrorizes our enemies abroad and innocent citizens here at home indiscriminately.”

This time he didn’t go to the “joke” excuse. He just changed “terrorist” to: “liar” “thief” and “whore” but didn’t supply any details.

The reason I bring up this short history of Mr. Baldwin’s public remarks is as a prelude to his most recent piece of nonsense on The Huffington Post. His most recent screed is about British Petroleum, the Supreme Court, folk music and some other stuff … I think. It’s pretty scattered. Keep in mind when you go read this that it wasn’t improvised banter like his other “jokes.”  He sat down and “wrote” this. I don’t want to get too snarky here because maybe Mr. Baldwin suffers from ADD or is an alcoholic. Maybe that is why he has trouble organizing his thoughts.

Let me try to respond to just a few of them. He wonders if and why corporations have rights. Why, yes they do, Mr. Baldwin. All corporations like the one you work for, General Electric have rights and responsibilities. Just like people! That’s what the word “corporation” means.  Just like BP should be held responsible for the clean up in the Gulf, GE should be called to task for the American men and women killed in Iraq an Afghanistan due to GE doing business with Iran. Why don’t you have a chat with your boss Jeffrey Immelt about taking responsibility for that?

Mr. Baldwin slams conservative judges on the court. They are boot lickers and lackeys of the “Evil Corporations. In his universe liberal Justices Ginsburg and Sottomayor have no agendas. They are as pure as his conversations with his children.

He closes his rant with a call to boycott BP. I am going to try to tune into his psychic waves and imagine he means don’t go down to your local BP station for a few gallons of gas and a Diet Coke. How, Mr. Baldwin does that hurt the BP brass? My guess is that Mr. Baldwin is one of the few people in America with less understanding of the oil business than the President. You see Alec; the guy down at the corner is usually an independent business person. Often they are LEGAL immigrants who have put their life savings into coming to America and owning something. They buy gasoline at a wholesale price from BP and resell it. They also sell Diet Coke, cigarettes and other wonderful products. If you put that guy out of business all those evil corporations will sell their stuff to the guy down the street and Tony Hayward keeps flying around in his jet. Please, the next time you are out and about pick up a clue or two.

Mr. Baldwin also says he keeps thinking about the lyrics of the old Woody Guthrie song “This Land is Your Land.”  He doesn’t say what he is thinking.  Maybe he has some sort of telepathic powers to let his followers know his thoughts on the song. Maybe he is thinking about it because it mentions the “gulf stream waters.” Maybe he is thinking about it because of the communistic undertones of the lyric like this verse which argues against property rights.

“As I was walkin', I saw a sign there
And that sign said: no tresspassin'
But on the other side, it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!”

These days I tend to like the last verse.

                        “In the squares of the city, In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office, I see my people.
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this land's still made for you and me?”

Of course, since I am a right wing nut job my dissent is on Mr. Baldwin’s list of things to do away with.
Perhaps I should remind him of something Justice Ginsburg said, 
“Dissents speak to a future age.”

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