The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Why Do People Make Sex Tapes?

 

Another sex tape has come to light. This time it’s not some starlet trying to make a name for herself or an aging beauty queen all tied up in her attempt to stay young and beautiful. Nor is it a young person making a youthful misjudgment. The latest sex tape to surface features one of America’s most famous ambulance chasers, the progressive’s favorite everyman, John Edwards.

Has anything good ever come from having a video of your sexual escapades go public? Why anyone other than a pornographer, blackmailer or stalker spying on their favorite sports reporter would ever make a sex tape is beyond me. I have heard all the reasons, enhanced intimacy, separation and whatever other lame excuse people come up with and none of them fly. Maybe I’m just jealous because any sex tape featuring me would be in the “short subject” category and feature lines of dialogue like,  “… move over a little,” “you’re on my hair,” “That’s it?” and “…are you still awake?”

It seems that Mr. Edwards, while getting ready to enter the Iowa Caucuses was busy videoing his escapades with the already pregnant Ms. Rielle Hunter. You remember how Mr. Edwards made such a big deal about his family and standing with his sick wife. A few people said back then that any lawyer who made a fortune off of bad science and unsophisticated juries was not to be trusted. They said any guy who used his dying wife as a prop in his campaign lacked clear moral vision. Those people were vilified but it seems they are now owed an apology.    

 John Edwards was trying to tell us all something when he said there were two Americas during his presidential campaign. There is the American we live in out here in Flyoverland where you work hard, try to do the right thing, and when you make a mistake admit it. Then there is the John Edwards American where build a fortune by you fleecing insurance companies and then live your hedonistic life behind closed doors while your wife and kids are made to look like fools. At the same time you are trying to sell another wagon load of manure to the American public to keep your ego fed.

Perhaps the most embarrassing thing about the Edwards sex tape is that three times during it the stylist comes in to fix his hair.

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