The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy “We Are The World”: To Us Anyway!

February 27, 2010

Back in 1985 a group of really wealthy show business types got together to make a video and record a song for charity. The song, we all remember, was “We Are the World” and it has sold over 20 million copies, raised $63 million and raised worldwide awareness for… anybody?  What horrible tragedy did these superstars bring to the forefront of our collective consciousness? Seriously, don’t look ahead and don’t Google it, does anyone remember what the charity was? I got to be honest, neither did I. Now, can you name any of the superstars involved? Of course you can.

USA for Africa was formed by singer/actor Harry Belafonte and agent/manager Ken Kragen to aid starving children in Africa. A noble idea if ever there was one!  So they got Quincy Jones, Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie, yes he was a big star before he was just Nicole’s daddy, and they got a bunch of their friends and fellow big shots to record a song for charity.

 I don’t know how much of the $63 million raised was actually turned into food on the plate of a kid in Africa but let’s say it was 100%. That’s a little less than Michael Jackson spent on lawyer fees and llama feed over the same period of time. My point is that if the 40 plus millionaires had really wanted to do something selfless they could have each kicked in a million or two into an endowment and at an average return of 6.5% on an fund of 50 million they could have donated more money to poor nations and still have the fifty million sitting there working for the starving kids. It just seems to me that what is promoted most with these celebrity videos is the celebrities themselves.  

The horrible situation in Haiti has spawned a new group of super wealthy musicians and actors hungry to let us know how caring they are. They have gotten together to redo the 1985 classic. I saw a photo of the group and right smack dab in the middle is the Poster Girl for American Liberalism, Barbara Streisand, woman whose personal net worth is probably equal to ten years of the GNP of Haiti. Look you guys, you want to get together and pat each other on the back, that’s great. You really want to help Haiti; sit down and write a check so big it actually brings your net wealth down a percentage point or two and form a foundation that will support aid to Haiti forever. Heck, I’ll even kick in a few bucks myself.


The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy LA Times Patrick Goldstein Doesn’t Know His Onions

February 23, 2010

My most recent piece on child rapist Roman Polanski and the Hollywood toadies who adore him has been taken to task in a recent blog by L.A. Times writer Patrick Goldstein.

Count Mr. Goldstein as one of the Polanski toadies. Let me begin by giving you a little insight into Mr. Goldstein’s personal morality. He’s views the drugging and rape of a 13 year old as a “personal transgression.” As my regular readers know I am a self proclaimed “rube’ and live out in the culturally barren wasteland know as the Midwest. Out here where we lack the gravitas of those Hollywood newspaper types a “personal transgression” is when you bump into some coming out of church on Sunday. You say “excuse me” and go home and not to the south of France for thirty years to avoid the consequences of your actions.   

Here, the drugging and raping of a child is the kind of thing that gets you shot by an angry father and gets him exonerated for justifiable homicide whether the rapist made great films or worked at the feed and grain.

He also criticizes me when he says I “barely bothers to take umbrage with Polanski.”  He could be right on that. I only directly called him a pedophile and a cockroach by inference. Maybe in Hollywood those are seen as accolades but again where I live that kind of talk would get you an ashtray in the eye at the local bar.

Just to show us how sophisticated he is Mr. Goldstein takes an out of left field snide swipe at two commercially successful film directors Michael Bay and Dennis Dugan.  Apparently in Mr. Goldstein mind making an Adam Sandler film is much worse than raping a child. Those guys he mocks may also be guilty of a crime worse than child rape in Hollywood, they may be conservatives!

Unknowingly, I may have committed another Hollywood transgression in my piece on Polanski and his supporters; I called one of them a “limousine liberal.” I only cited only one example of Pierce Brosnan’s liberalism in the piece and Mr. Goldstein seems to think that is the only example that exists. However due to a marvelous system we in the hinterlands call “the internet” I found many examples of Mr. Brosnan’s liberalism.

It’s too bad that Mr. Goldstein doesn’t have access to the internet or he wouldn’t have had to guess about a comment I made on Mr. Brosnan’s statement that in order to work with Polanski an actor needs to “know his onions.” Perhaps my sense of humor isn’t quite broad enough for him to catch when I am being flippant about something so I’ll try to go slower this time so he understands my point. The etymology of the phrase “knowing one’s onions” is a little foggy but is most definitely not “presumably obscure Scottish slang.” Why Mr. Goldstein would presume Mr. Brosnan would use Scottish slang is also beyond me, Mr. Brosnan being Irish and all.  You’d think a guy who writes about Hollywood for a living would know something that. He really ought to get this internet thing; it’s great for checking one’s facts!

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy:No Nukes! Except Obama’s!

February 18, 2010

I don’t want to start a new conspiracy theory but a small and dedicated group of Americans has gone missing. Vanished without a trace! Where are the American anti-nuclear people? What has happened to the “No Nukes” folks? Since President Obama announced his support for new nuclear power plants in his State of the Union Address I have been patiently waiting for the leftist/environmental/green/anti-nuclear power movement to resurface.  

Here we are a full month after Mr. Obama has pledged billions to utilities like Southern Company to kick start a “new generation of safe, clean nuclear power plants in this country” and as of yet not a peep from them. No rally at the Capital, no rock concert extravaganza, not even some of those cool death mask costumes worn by a guy on stilts. At least I think he was on stilts. Maybe his growth hormones were horribly affected by his growing up near Three Mile Island! It makes me think something awful has happened to this band of aging hippies!

Back in 1979 there were over 200,000 demonstrators at an anti-nuclear power rally in New York City. That was followed by a five day series of concerts at Madison Square Garden and a multi-million selling album featuring James Taylor, Jackson Brown, Tom Petty and Bonnie Raitt. If our younger readers are unsure of whom these folks are, ask your parents or grandparents they’ll fill you in. They will also be able to tell you what an “album” was. They were difficult to “illegally download” because you had to “upload” them under your sweatshirt in the aisle of the “record” store. Of course that was back when stealing music was still frowned upon.

Recent protests have been a little smaller than in days of old. A recent walk to protest the re-licensing of the Vermont Yankee Nuclear Power Plant was attended by 175 people! That means in the past thirty years some 199,825 nuclear protesters have disappeared.  Sadder still was the 2009 protest by Francis Crowe which get her and her two friend who showed up arrested.

As recently as early 2008 there were reports on left wing websites like that the anti-nuclear energy movement was alive and well and living in rural Georgia, sort of like the Almond Brothers Band.

“Waynesboro, Georgia , Jan 14, 2008 (IPS) – Residents and environmental activists are in a bitter dispute with large U.S. energy corporations and the federal government over the safety of nuclear power, as more than a dozen corporations plan to, or have filed, paperwork to open new nuclear power plants, primarily in the U.S. South. Energy giants like Southern Company, Entergy, and Florida Power and Light are attracted by billions in governmental incentives offered under the George W. Bush Administration.”

That was back in the waning days of the evil Bush Administration when the Government was still the enemy of the planet. So where are the No Nukes folks? Perhaps they have been abducted by aliens. Perhaps they are all on a commune somewhere in New Hampshire having a “think in” on how to protest the first African-American President and not be mistaken for those racist Tea Party people!

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: The Price of Anything

February 17, 2010

I was looking for a little gift for my wife for Valentine’s Day last week. Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that is exclusive for women. Let me let you ladies in on a little secret that your man won’t tell you; for men Valentine’s Day is exactly the same holiday as Halloween. It’s a day where you have to dress up and pretend you’re someone you’re not and then you give away candy.

Anyway I was away working so I went to and ordered the $19.99 special for a dozen roses. I had called a local florist back home and was quoted a price of $40. I figured I would save the $20 and go with the online option. Let me jump ahead a click or two, when I get to the end of the buying my total after delivery, tax and several other “fees’ is more than the 40 bucks I could have gotten from my hometown guy.

There are a lot of things like that these days. Ever rent a car? You get a price of $19 a day then add in all the fees and local taxes to pay for the pro football stadium and your rate has doubled. God forbid you opt for the insurance or GPS, then your three day rental begins to resemble a monthly payment for on a Lexis. If you get sucked into buying the gas in advance you also get the privilege of buying several gallons of gas for the rental company.

Why are most airlines still charging me for bags? Wasn’t that a fuel surcharge added when oil was $150 a barrel? Now that oil is hovering around a little less than half of that shouldn’t the “fuel/bag” charge go away or at least be lowered? Here is the kicker, if you carry the same bag onto the plane there is no charge. How does that save fuel? Can’t the airline just roll the bag charge into the ticket price? What are you supposed to do, go on vacation without a bag? What if you go to Vegas and lose all you money. Are you supposed to leave your luggage behind?

There aren’t many good things about Europe but at least when you go into a store and the price tag says 3 Euros, its 3 Euros. The taxes and other fees are rolled into the price. Maybe instead of bringing Euro-socialism to us Mr. Obama could give us some Euro-pricing first.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Polanski Still Awaits His Fate

February 13, 2010


When Franz Kafka wrote “The Metamorphosis” he may have had someone like Roman Polanski in mind. I don’t know much about Swiss justice but why does it take more than twenty minutes to decide that they should send a fugitive from justice back to face the music. He’s not a political prisoner or a dissident, he’s a rapist.

What is even more puzzling to me is why Hollywood liberals would stand behind a pedophile. Maybe they’re afraid to upset the applecart lest other famous deviant directors and producers would not hire them for future projects.

Polanski’s latest film “The Ghost Writer” is having its premier at the Berlin Film Festival and writer Robert Harris would like us to believe that in reference to Polanski legal troubles that, “I never discussed it with him. It was never relevant.” In Mr. Harris’ world the fact that a man has been avoiding justice for thirty years isn’t relevant. In Mr. Harris world the art justifies the means. As long as Polanski keeps grinding out “artistic” films his personal life is of no consequence. Perhaps Mr. Harris is a member of the Leni Riefenstahl Fan Club as well as the Polanski Admiration Society.

The film’s stars Pierce Brosnan and Ewan McGregor have both been busy heaping praise on Polanski as a “maestro” and  for having an “… alchemy with the camera.”  Mr. Brosnan went on to say that in order to work with Mr. Polanski, “You have to know your onions.” I am not really sure what that means but it tells us two things about Mr. Brosnan, he’s not great with metaphors and he may be a little dense.

Brosnan is the poster boy for the term “limousine liberal.” He claims to have become an American citizen during what he terms “the atrocity of the Bush years” to help his family “endure the hypocrisy and stupidity of the man’s power.”  

While Mr. McGregor and Brosnan are entitled to their opinions under what I consider the greatest of our freedoms, the right to be as stupid as you want to be, wouldn’t it be great if just once a Hollywood type would make a stand on principle. Just once it would be nice to hear a respected actor turn down a role in a Polanski film because they didn’t want to be associated with a child rapist. Come to think of it, it would be great if a politian or two would do something based on principle once in awhile too.

It’s too bad for John Wayne Gacy that he didn’t make films instead of doing clown paintings. He could be living in France with the help the Swiss Government and a few Hollywood friends.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

February 12, 2010

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy will be back tomorrow with a new blog article

Today enjoy this cartoon from our friends at The Sales Whisperer




The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Super Ads

February 8, 2010

I am not a huge NFL fan but I never miss the Super Bowl because it has also become the show place for America’s advertising giants. The Super Bowl ads have come to be a competition in themselves and are often better than the game. At a reported cost of over $3 million for a thirty second ad it would be hard for me to imagine that any of the ads are cost effective but it’s not my money so roll the tape!  The ads on this year’s broadcast ran the gamut from great to banal to shockingly bad to scary and a few hit out and out stupid.

Once again this year the people who run “Go Daddy” got their pole dancing girl friends a gig on national TV.  I am beginning to think that’s ad agency is run by Larry Flynt. Their banned “Lola” ad about an NFL player who comes out of the closet to design ladies lingerie was on the level of a bad SNL skit, like there is any other kind. They weren’t the only advertiser to get in on the sophomoric heavy sexual overtones bandwagon.’s ad entitled “Beavers” was perhaps the most shockingly bad outing of the evening. It ends with some inferred bestiality. Hey, it’s a “beaver,” get it. Ha-ha he said, “Beaver!” Cut to people who are unemployed and using Monster to search for a job rolling on the ground laughing hysterically. Maybe that’s why they are unemployed. Why do these two web firms continue to run this type of advertising? Maybe they have research that shows only mouth breathing troglodytes use their websites. Maybe all tech firms are run by really nerdy guys who have never lost their virginity. I am at a loss to explain this advertising trend.

Bud Light’s corporate image of the American male is almost as low as the tech world’s view of woman. Guys are beer swilling lay-abouts who will do just about anything to down a few Bud’s. If their ads were even close to being funny I could let it go for the joke but they were not. Thanks for that uplifting picture of male behavior.

E Trade has been running its campaign of computer enhanced talking baby ads for a few years now and they had a couple of cute ads especially one where a boy baby was talking on a video link to his girl baby friend. The whole concept is getting a little predictable although it still has a high “cute” factor. Still, I don’t know how many multimillion dollar investors move their accounts to E Trade because of the funny “milk-a-holic” line.

Judging from some ads there are either a lot of advertisers who don’t want conservatives to buy their products or a lot of liberals making television advertisements. When Audi’s “Green Police” ad showing government environmental cops arresting people for violating the planet first came on I thought it was a PSA for the Obama administration EPA policies. It wasn’t. Seems as long as you are driving an Audi diesel you are on the right side of the environmental fascists, for now!  

Qualcomm, trying to sell America the Flo personal TV, has combined leftist ideology and male bashing in its two ads featuring a guy who is “spineless” and a heavily political video montage by Obama idolater I guess his stage name is supposed to be clever but it makes me think he was just raised on a little too much Dr. Seuss.  Can you imagine the flack a company would get if it let Ann Coulter or Glenn Beck produce a video montage for it’s Super Bowl commercial?

The best single ad was a promo for “The Late Show with David Letterman.” Building on another ad Dave had done with Oprah Winfrey the ad opens with Dave complaining that he is at the worst Super Bowl party ever. The camera pulls back to reveal Oprah sitting next to him trying to sooth his feeling and then pans to show Jay Leno sitting next to Oprah. Jay says’ “He’s just saying that ‘cause I’m here.”  Then Dave mocks Jay’s reply and an exasperated Oprah throws her hands in the air! Hilarious! It shows that above all Jay and Dave are comics who put the funny about personal differences and even their own shows!

I loved the Abe Vigoda/Betty White spot for Snickers but my award for the best corporate spots goes to Doritos. For the past several years the folks at Doritos have not hired a big dollar ad firm but have run a national video competition which has produced a steady stream of funny innovative commercials. By unleashed the unfettered creative power of 300 million Americans to get their Super Bowl ads the Frito-Lay Corporation has been one of the top rated Super Bowl advertisers and has richly rewarded those willing to do the work. Perhaps the Obama Administration should take notice.