The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Sarah Palin-aphobes and A Mexican Mayor

Some days it’s tough to find things to write about and other days the flood gates open and there are just tons of people begging for a little mocking. Last night I was in a hotel in Fort Lauderdale searching for something to write about and finally gave up and watched the Bears drop another game. I went to sleep fearing the bleakness of the next day. Then this morning the morons started jumping out of the trees. Two great ideas just showed up.

The first was right there in the USA Today outside my room door. Seems the ultraliberal mayor of Mexico City is cleaning up the town. No, he’s not stopping the rampant drug trade, chasing down murders or the organized kidnapping rings. Mayor Marcelo Ebrard is hell bent on putting an end to whistling at women on the streets and gum chewers who spit their gum on the sidewalk!  I say “bravo” Mr. Mayor. There is no insult greater than being whistled at by a construction worker while being bundled into the trunk of a kidnapper’s car. Woe unto you if while you were kicking around in there some was gum on the bottom of your shoe!

The story says the mayor has developed “10 commandments of urban conduct.” I tried in vain to find a complete listing of the other hard hitting rules the Mayor has put in place. I couldn’t find all the commandments but this guy means business! According to the same story he has already cracked down or some of the most vicious types around Mexico City; bar smokers, street vendors and those animals who use non-biodegradable bags at the grocery!  

The second came in my e mail. A friend forwarded me a letter from a nice fellow named Mitch Stewart. Mitch is the Director of a group of Obamites known as Organizing for America. He’s a career political operative turned community organizer for the former community organizer. This is a little peak into how governments create and “save” jobs. Maybe some future stimulus dollars will create a new PAC that raises money for Organizing for America and we can have a community organizer raising money for a community organizer who is raising money for the former community organizer. Soon one in every four American’s can be a fund raising community organizer! It takes so little training and you can work while you are standing in the government healthcare line.

Please excuse my digression; let’s get back to the point. The e mail, which is basically a fear mongering fund raising letter, has a lie in every line but I just want to highlight one of them. In this e mail, which comes under the imprimatur of Mitch says this,

 “Sarah Palin is on a highly publicized, nationwide book tour, attacking President Obama and his plan for health reform at every turn. It’s dangerous.”  

There are three lies right in that one sentence. There are so many things I could pick apart there but let’s start with the most obvious: “It’s dangerous.” Really, Mitch?  A conservative woman who disagrees with the President on a book tour is a danger to you?  Don’t worry that Iran is about to go nuclear, the President can’t pick an option in Afghanistan, and we are setting moronic legal precedents in dealing with terrorists. Better get the FBI on Sarah Palin tout suite, she may be forming some evil cabal with Ann Coulter and Michelle Bachmann to overthrow the mathematics used by the New York Times bestseller list. Maybe you guys could create some more jobs building a robot? Warning, Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!

You lefties need to make up your mind about Mrs. Palin. Is she a complete moron who got elected to be Governor of Alaska by some fluke because look at her she can hardly tie her own shoes and her book is awful or is she Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, and David Koresh all rolled into one in drag?


One Response to The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Sarah Palin-aphobes and A Mexican Mayor

  1. Ben Hoffman says:

    You should become a democrat. There’s an endless supply of comic fodder coming out of the mouths of Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, Glenn Beck, Dick Cheney, and many more right-wingers who seem to have crossed the line of sanity.

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