The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Cindy Sheehan, Against War? Not So Much Anymore

November 30, 2009

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Cindy Sheehan, Against War? Not So Much Anymore

I like finding examples of left wing media bias as much as the next guy but I suppose that guy would have to be another right wing nut job like me in order to enjoy it as much as I do. Anyway, over the weekend I was watching all the hype for the big Obama Afghanistan announcement on Tuesday when I saw a little gem of a news story on Headline News. There she was, the former darling of the left wing press, Ms. anti-war Cindy Sheehan herself, leading a huge war protest in front of Travis Air Force Base outside of Sacramento, CA.

Except Ms. Sheehan’s protest really wasn’t all that huge. It looked like Cindy and about seven or eight of her aging hipster friends had gotten some gas money together, made a few signs and a rented U Haul truck for a trip from the Bay Area up to Sacto. To be honest I felt a little sad for Cindy, I think I could get more people over to my house for an Amway meeting. I didn’t see how less than a dozen people doing anything would rate national news time. However, Ms. Cindy was getting more air than on HLN that the entire 9/12 demonstration did and though we may disagree about how many folks were there, I think we can all agree it was a little more than twelve.

Maybe she was getting face time because there was a counter protest? One old veteran put on his uniform and came out to confront Ms. Sheehan. This guy of about 80 was giving the protesters a severe tongue lashing. To try to silence his dissidence Ms. Peace and Love put her bullhorn about an inch from his face and kept talking. The old guy batted it away was and was instantly demonized for “slapping” Ms. Sheehan. She was demanding to anyone who would listen that he be arrested for assault.

Then something odd struck me, she and her Code Pink friends weren’t really protesting the war. They were protesting the use of drones to kill enemy scumbags. To Ms. Sheehan’s credit until then she has never quit protesting the war.  What happened was that she quit getting coverage. When she would show up in Crawford with her ragtag band of merry pranksters they would be outnumbered by adoring media types ten-to-one. She got her sour puss on all the CNN and MSNBC chat fests. Then Obama, the anti- war President happened and all of the media went away. Her campout at Martha’s Vineyard this past summer during Mr. Obama’s vacation brought hardly a mention and that was on the evil Fox News.

Now her protest isn’t against the President’s lack of action on his promises to the hard left, oh no! Nor is it against the war itself. Her protest is now Obama friendly! In order to get back in the limelight she isn’t protesting the war she is protesting “drones.” I think she actually said something to the effect that the use of unmanned drones weren’t fair. I guess Ms. Sheehan think if we need to clean out some rat hole of terrorist we should do it in a more sporting manner.

Now that she isn’t protesting “the war” which on Tuesday became President Obama’s war, she is back on the good list with the liberal media. I expect to see Cindy and company all around the liberal media protesting that mean old Air Force and their use of unfair drones. I wouldn’t hold my breath for any anti-Obama rhetoric!


The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: A Tale of Two Crashes

November 28, 2009

Over the weekend there were two crashes reported in the news.

The first was that some publicity seeking rich nut job and his wife crashed the Obama’s first state dinner at the White House. The second was that golf gawd Tiger Woods crashed his car into a fire hydrant and tree while backing out of his driveway.

Michaele and Tareq Salahi made it all the way into the dinner tent and posed for pictures with the President, the Vice President and Rahm Emanuel. Here is my question: WHAT?  I wanted to add two more words to my question but I am trying to quit using profanity. Is this the same administration that is supposed to be in charge of the security of the entire country? Apparently it’s harder to get onto an airplane than into a White House party. Here would be my simple plan for security at the next state dinner. Make a guest list and have it posted at the entrance. Have several armed U. S. Marines and a few Secret Service guys with those cool ear thingies at the gate.  You show your invite and a photo ID, they check the list. If you’re not on the guest list you don’t get in.  Then you go through a metal detector and on the other side of that scan there are a few more Marines and a couple more Secret Service guys and just in case the first team missed something they check you again. Seems simple enough to me.

I wouldn’t want to seem like I am profiling anyone but here we have a woman who can’t spell “Michelle” or “Michaela” and a guy with an Arabic name sliding right into the White House. Can you say political correctness? Is this unchecked entry into what should be the most secure place in the entire world at all attributable to the same inanity that allowed an Islamic terrorist to move unchecked through the United States military? I’m just asking.

The way Tiger’s crash into a fire hydrant and tree was reported is almost laughable. It should be obvious even to the most brain dead reporter that something is amiss at the Woods’ residence. I used to run screaming out of my house during my first marriage but I was usually drunk, being chased or both. I don’t think Tiger’s personal life is any of my business. Sure he’s a public figure but I didn’t elect him to anything and I believe that he is entitled to his privacy.

Here’s the point: Which story do you think will have more life in the mainstream media?

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Be Thankful for Something!

November 25, 2009

Thanksgiving is a holiday that gets less and less respect every year.

Each year Halloween, for no discernable reason, seems to get bigger and bigger and the Christmas shopping season keeps starting sooner and sooner.

On top of that each year we seem to hear from groups who want to degrade the first Thanksgiving into some sore of imperialist kick off dinner for the genocide of American Indians.

I am a big fan of a talk radio guy named Dennis Prager. While he’s not exactly in the same league with Rush, Glenn or Dr. Savage he talks about a lot more than just politics and does so in a calm and rational manner. Maybe that is what is keeping him from the big time. That isn’t a put down to any of the other hosts, I listen to all of them when I can but more of a statement about what we as American prefer to listen to.

 Anyway, I have been recommending Dennis’  “Happiness is a Serious Problem”  to any one who will listen since I read it many years ago. I reread it every year at this time because it remind me of two points. No one is happy all the time and you should be grateful for the things you have.

Have a great Thanksgiving and try to cut your family some slack. They are who they are and there is very little chance that you will ever change the way your mother and father behave. Accept it or do them a favor and go have Big Mac for dinner. Try to forget about Obama, healthcare Sarah Palin, Fox News, or whatever gets on your nerves and take a walk with a loved one. Enjoy the ride because it’s going to be over before you know it.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Sarah Palin-aphobes and A Mexican Mayor

November 23, 2009

Some days it’s tough to find things to write about and other days the flood gates open and there are just tons of people begging for a little mocking. Last night I was in a hotel in Fort Lauderdale searching for something to write about and finally gave up and watched the Bears drop another game. I went to sleep fearing the bleakness of the next day. Then this morning the morons started jumping out of the trees. Two great ideas just showed up.

The first was right there in the USA Today outside my room door. Seems the ultraliberal mayor of Mexico City is cleaning up the town. No, he’s not stopping the rampant drug trade, chasing down murders or the organized kidnapping rings. Mayor Marcelo Ebrard is hell bent on putting an end to whistling at women on the streets and gum chewers who spit their gum on the sidewalk!  I say “bravo” Mr. Mayor. There is no insult greater than being whistled at by a construction worker while being bundled into the trunk of a kidnapper’s car. Woe unto you if while you were kicking around in there some was gum on the bottom of your shoe!

The story says the mayor has developed “10 commandments of urban conduct.” I tried in vain to find a complete listing of the other hard hitting rules the Mayor has put in place. I couldn’t find all the commandments but this guy means business! According to the same story he has already cracked down or some of the most vicious types around Mexico City; bar smokers, street vendors and those animals who use non-biodegradable bags at the grocery!  

The second came in my e mail. A friend forwarded me a letter from a nice fellow named Mitch Stewart. Mitch is the Director of a group of Obamites known as Organizing for America. He’s a career political operative turned community organizer for the former community organizer. This is a little peak into how governments create and “save” jobs. Maybe some future stimulus dollars will create a new PAC that raises money for Organizing for America and we can have a community organizer raising money for a community organizer who is raising money for the former community organizer. Soon one in every four American’s can be a fund raising community organizer! It takes so little training and you can work while you are standing in the government healthcare line.

Please excuse my digression; let’s get back to the point. The e mail, which is basically a fear mongering fund raising letter, has a lie in every line but I just want to highlight one of them. In this e mail, which comes under the imprimatur of Mitch says this,

 “Sarah Palin is on a highly publicized, nationwide book tour, attacking President Obama and his plan for health reform at every turn. It’s dangerous.”  

There are three lies right in that one sentence. There are so many things I could pick apart there but let’s start with the most obvious: “It’s dangerous.” Really, Mitch?  A conservative woman who disagrees with the President on a book tour is a danger to you?  Don’t worry that Iran is about to go nuclear, the President can’t pick an option in Afghanistan, and we are setting moronic legal precedents in dealing with terrorists. Better get the FBI on Sarah Palin tout suite, she may be forming some evil cabal with Ann Coulter and Michelle Bachmann to overthrow the mathematics used by the New York Times bestseller list. Maybe you guys could create some more jobs building a robot? Warning, Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!

You lefties need to make up your mind about Mrs. Palin. Is she a complete moron who got elected to be Governor of Alaska by some fluke because look at her she can hardly tie her own shoes and her book is awful or is she Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, and David Koresh all rolled into one in drag?

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Go Bucks

November 21, 2009

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy is too busy enjoying seeing Michigan get crushed by Ohio State to worry about politics today

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Writers Who Don’t Know Comedy

November 19, 2009


Stand up is the least respected of all the performing arts. As if being a stand-up comic weren’t hard enough; the years of being judged by every person who owns a liquor license and a microphone, driving six hours to a non-existent gig, begging moronic agents and managers who are looking for a “new, original and exciting” talent, to come out to see your show only to be asked why you aren’t more “Seinfeld-ish.” On top of that it takes years to develop an act and find your voice on stage. There are child actors, child musicians, tiny dancers and even I would guess a few very young working writers but no child comics. Why? Because stand-up comedy is the only experientially based art form. Kids can tell “jokes” but they can’t do stand-up. Stand-up comedy, really good stand-up comedy has evolved from joke telling into a personal narrative dialogue with the audience.

Still, every now and then some elitist hack with a degree from the right college and the proper connections gets a job at a failing weekly magazine and decides to take a shot at you and your profession, feeling they are qualified to judge this art form because they know how to laugh and talk. This is rarely if ever done with other art forms. Seriously folks, when is the last time you saw an article about actors who can’t act, dancers who can’t dance, painters who can’t paint or pointless “performance artists.” Yet, about every six months some “critic” declares a number of famous comics “not funny.”   

Ms. Sarah Ball of the soon defunct Newsweek is the latest to declare some great comics “not funny.” In her article, which I found on she lists 12 acts and gives snarky put downs of their talents. I found it interesting that Ms. Ball’s list is mostly west coast, politically conservative/moderate comics. Apparently if you are from New York and ultra liberal Ms. Ball finds you hilarious!

Topping her list is every elitist favorite comedy punching bag Larry the Cable Guy. Larry’s sin seems to be his is a little too lowbrow for Ms. Ball whom I am sure worships at the altar of urinator Larry David, and  christophobe Sarah Silverman. There are a couple of folks working at the top of the intellectual chart. When talking about Dane Cook (I admit, not my favorite) she heaps praise on Louis C.K. (a guy I happen to also enjoy) who also tends towards the scatological for his humor.

Here is another thing that annoys me worst than Barney Frank, several times Ms. Ball demeans comics for being less than original and yet in her writing she uses a number of “stock” lines, clichés and banal comments. She also works for a magazine which recently selected a cover picture of Sarah Palin that was borrowed from a shoot for another magazine and used without contextual reference.

Ms. Ball also apparently hasn’t seen some of the comics she lists in some time. For Emo Phillips she uses an outdated photo, (again Newsweek using a photo out of context!) and critiques the vocal and delivery style he was using in the 90’s. Artists grow and change Ms. Ball; you might want to catch Bob Goldthwaite sometime this century too!  Her total critique of Jeff Dunham is that he is a ventriloquist, a comedy form she declared “went out of vogue in the Eisenhower era.” So did unbiased journalism and accurate reporting, Ms. Ball, but I’ll save that for another blog. Ventriloquism is experiencing a great revival outside elitist circles with Ronn Lucas and Terry Fator being two of the top draws in Las Vegas. While Jay Johnson, Jeff Dunham and Dan Horn wow audiences across the country. It might do Ms. Ball good to get out of Manhattan once in awhile and see what us rubes are doing out here in Flyoverland.

There are a lot of comics who I don’t find funny but I realize that my taste in comedy is skewered by my values, faith, politics and a number of other factors. I would never declare Bill Maher “not funny.” Thought I find his drug addled ramblings repulsive at times I realize that a number of equally intelligent folks find him hysterical. I might say I find his humor “baffling” or call him an “alleged” comedian but to declare him “not funny” isn’t fair to Bill or his fans.

People like different things, that’s why they put numbers on horses at the track. I would expect an open and fair minded progressive person like Ms. Ball to be a little more…what’s that word? Tolerant!

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Doing a Little Spinning

November 17, 2009

I just got finished reading my local fish wrap and am continually amazed at the spin people from the left like to put on things. Here are a few examples:

The Toledo Blade in an editorial that was reprinted in my local paper looked at recent election results as “the national anti-incumbent trend that played out in the election this week.” Really, an anti-incumbent trend?  This was an anti-Obama vote pure and simple. I only hope the left continues to deny the facts that are facing them squarely in the kisser. With each passing week President Obama and his policies are becoming more and more unpopular. His triangulation of running from the right and then governing from the left is blowing up in his face. It is an IED of his own devising. The independents and moderate Democrats and Republicans who were swayed by his rhetoric and the hipness factor of voting for the first Black President who was actually black, or at least partially black as opposed to the last “first Black President” who was totally white, will not be around to be fooled again in 2012 unless Obama moves to the right and does it soon.

Of course, the far left in the country is quick to point to the not as yet concluded election in the New York 23rd to deny this fact. Fine! They cite the lie that that 23rd had been held by a Republican for 100 years. Most recently this lie was repeated by minor columnist for that mega-media outlet the Palm Beach Post Rhonda Swan. Ms. Swan called exposed RINO Dede Scozzafava’s views on abortion and gay marriage “moderate.” This is the problem with bipartisanship, if you agree with the far left you are a “moderate Republican.” I would say if you agree with the far left you are a… Humm let me think, what is the word I am looking for? Oh yeah, a leftist!  Scozzafava supports virtually unfettered abortion. Not a conservative position. I don’t know what a moderate position on gay marriage would be. It seems to me you are for it or against it.

President Obama took another bow to a royal this week when he dropped it low in front of the Emperor of Japan. His media team was quick to play COA and say this was just the customary greeting but no other leader in recent history has been seen bowing to the Emperor.