The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: A Break in the Action

While all of the America haters get a chance to enjoy bashing us at the U.N. today The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy is stepping away from politics to share a few thoughts on our favorite game.


Everything I Every Needed To Know About Life I Learned On A Golf Course.

A few years back some guy claimed he learned everything he need to know while he was still in kindergarten. He probably never got the chance to walk up the eighteenth fairway with his son on a July evening just as the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. I may be a slow learner, or maybe I wasn’t paying attention quite as well as I should have been in school but I learned everything I needed to know about life on a golf course.

Golf’s teaches us how to be both intensely competitive and absolutely honest. Golf doesn’t build character, it reveals it. Calling your own penalties taught me that personal integrity is more important that winning. Honesty isn’t a part time thing, if you cheat once you’re a cheater forever. A broken reputation is hard to rebuild.

Play it as it lies. Sometimes you hit it perfectly and end up in a divot. Other times you jerk it left and it bounces off a tree and into the fairway.  The “breaks” in life tend to even out in the long run. How you handle those ups and downs says more about you than your score. Fix your ball marks and divots. Rake the bunker. Leave the course better than you found it. If you take care of the environment things will be better for you as well as those that follow.

Never up, never in. Try to finish what you start, falling short only guarantees failure.  

Help your opponent look for his ball when he’s in the weeds. Don’t rejoice in the misery of others or root for them to fail. You may be in the same trouble soon. The sweetest victory is when you beat someone at their best. Don’t walk on another guy’s line. Be aware of where others are and respect their space.

Be ready when it’s your turn. We’re here for a good game not a long game. Wasting someone’s time on the course is rude and shows a lack of respect, it life it’s criminal.

Drive for show, putt for dough. The big hit is impressive but if you always sink eight footers people will soon notice and you will get invited to the best tournaments and golf outings. Good putting is like Mary-Kay cosmetics, it can cover up a lot of ugliness.

Give your best effort on every shot no matter how far behind you might be. When it’s over, know that you have done your best. Nobody wins all the time so when it’s over take off your hat and shake hands with your opponent. If you have won or lost when you say “nice game” when it’s over and mean it!

Be humble in victory and gracious in defeat and if you’re the winner, buy the drinks.


One Response to The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: A Break in the Action

  1. You forgot one.

    If you are a crappy player it is not necessary to address the ball for 5 minutes before each shot. It won’t make you any better.

    On a personal note, I am a fast crappy player esp since I only play with a driver, 9 iron and a putter.

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