The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: We Need a Czar for the Czars

According to the Obama administration has thus far appointed twenty eight czars! You may have missed some of these but we have a Great Lakes Czar, so those lakes stay in line and don’t opt for moving to Canada.  Come to think of it some of the Great Lake already belong to Canada so I wonder if they have a Great Lakes Czar. If they do and there is a conflict would it be Czar Wars?

We now have a Sudan Czar, I thought they had their own Czar but hey if it helps improve our image in the Arab world I am all for loaning them a Czar or two. We have a health Czar despite the fact we have a Surgeon General and to be honest I am not sure who is in charge of health. You might think that a Czar would outrank a general but a number of third world countries that have tons of Generals are run by colonels.

I addition to having a Czar just for Sudan we have an Afghanistan Czar. Isn’t the President afraid that some countries will feel miffed that he didn’t appoint a Czar just for them? I thought we have a whole State Department that had their own country Czars called ambassadors. We now have a Mideast Peace Czar and a Mideast Policy Czar. At least the Obama administration has a clear understanding that those two things aren’t related.

We have Herb Allison who is the TARP Czar and Earl Devaney the Stimulus Accountability Czar. Apparently Mr. Allison is not a very accountable guy and needs his own Czar to keep him in the straight and narrow. Do they both have to answer to the Economic Czar?

We have a Weapons Czar and a Weapons of Mass Destruction Czar; I hope that doesn’t lead to weapons envy.

We have a Border Czar, a Terrorism Czar and an Intelligence Czar. What if a terrorist is crossing the border? Who do we call? Come to think of it why do we even need a terrorist Czar since Janet Napolitano has told us there are no acts of terrorism there are only “man created disasters?”

What this country really needs is a Czar Czar. One Uber-Czar to keep all the minor Czars from getting out of line. Since the Romanov’s  have all been killed off we need to find someone new. A person who is feared for their hard line principles. A person with a proven record of successfully eliminated government waste and bringing economic success. At the same time the Czar Czar should be someone who can understand and relate to the common man and woman. Yes, I think Sarah Palin would be an excellent Czar Czar. Hopefully she will be considered for the job in 2012.


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