The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Speaking Obama


I the past few days there have been several reports about officials, high and low, using new politically correct language to describe things which have been around for awhile. The best example is the new head of the Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, refusing to use the word “terrorist.”  She preferred describing terrorist actions as “Man Caused Disasters.” The problem with politically correct speech is that it hides the obvious. Even Big Freakin’ Hillbillies like me understand an illegal immigrant is someone who broke the law to get into this country. We of simple minds get confused when folks from the Ivy League start describing them as “migrants”. A migrant to us plain spoken folk is someone who waited in line, did the right thing and came here in accordance with our laws.

In order for us morons on the right to understand the new speak of the Obama administration I offer this glossary of terms before and after being “Obamized”. Feel free to add to my list while you are still able.

Old Bush/Cheney/ Halliburton Hate Speech             Obama Speak


Terrorist                                              Misunderstood Islamic Freedom Fighter

Terrorist Act                                                 Man Caused Disaster

Freedom Tower                            Chinese World Business Headquarters

Enemy Combatant                           Victim of Bush Chaney War Crimes 

Illegal Immigrant                                       Migrant/Democrat Voter

Global War on Terror                     Overseas Contingency Operation

Axis of Evil                                            Islamic Republic of Iran

Socialism                                         Government Friendly Capitalism

Welfare                                                        Tax Rebate

Wealth Redistribution Scam                    Global Warming

Global Warming                                      Climate Change


Businessman                                              Greed Monger

Entrepreneur                                   Government Revenue Enhancer

Middle Class                                                   Rich

Republican                                                   Tax Payer

Conservative                                              Klansman

Abortion                                             Reproductive Rights

Unfettered Abortion                      Embryonic Stem Cell Research

Windfall Profits Tax                                 Cap and Trade

Volunteer                                         Americorps Political Activist

On Time Mortgage Payer                               Chump

Marxist/Socialist Liberalism                          Historic Presidency    

Dollar                                                             Global Currency

Reeducation Camp                                         Job Training

Health Care                                              Socialized Medicine

Wall Street                                U.S. Department of Economic Control

Rehashed Clinton Administration               Change You Can Believe In

Conservative Supreme Court Justice                    Homophobe

Private Property                                  Future Government Acquisition

Bipartisanship                                                 Do It Our Way

Contract Provision                                     Government Oversight                                  

Seek input from across the aisle.               We won, sit down and shut up.

Private Enterprise                                 Future Federal Employment Project   

Unemployment                                          Idleness Compensation Program

National Security Issue                                Law Enforcement Problem

Defend and Protect the Constitution                      If It Fits My Agenda


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