The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Backdooring the Second Amendment

March 30, 2009

This is the key to freedom!

This is the key to freedom!

If I could wave a magic wand and change anything about the good old U.S. of A. tomorrow I wouldn’t fix the economy or get us out of Iraq and Afghanistan. I wouldn’t wish away the Obama budget or Nancy Pelosi. I wouldn’t even mystically make our borders secure or stop the assault on sanctity of human life. The one thing I would change is to give everyone in the country a massive dose of critical thinking skills. I would make it the number one priority of things to be taught in schools. I believe if I could fix this problem all the others would fix themselves.

Let me give you an example. On Sunday I was watching Fox News and one of the newsreaders was doing a piece on the drug war on our southern border. Part of this story was a short interview with the liberal New York Congresswoman Nita Lowey. Ms. Lowey hates the fact that you have the right to own a gun. Of course, she never came out and said that. Instead Ms. Lowey was faithfully reciting the Administration talking points about the Mexican border drug war which includes the idea that the problem on our southern border is largely due to The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution.

Here is how the logic goes: Drug cartels are coming into the United States and buying “assault“ weapons. If we would outlaw the legal sale of these guns to American citizens the problem would disappear! You see, the Democrat logic goes, the reason that there is drug violence on the Mexican border isn’t corruption in Mexico, lack of enforcement of our existing gun laws, or an ability to control our nation’s boundaries. The reason that there is a problem is that you have the right to own a weapon that could be used to protect your home and family in a time of national crisis.

Let’s take a minute here and test your critical thinking skills. Ready? Here are some of Ms. Lowey’s statements. I may be paraphrasing them a bit as I was trying to write them down while continuing to watch the interview without the help of my DVR, but I believe I have captured them fairly accurately. 

Ms. Lowey said that, “Mexican Drug Cartels are operating in 239 cities in the United States.”

The idea of the talking point line is that you will be shocked and horrified by this invasion of drug lords into our country. So shocked that you would be willing to give up your right to own a gun! Stop reading for a minute and think about that statement and make a list of all the things that you might question if you have some functional critical thinking skills.

Here are a few of my critical thinking questions. How did these violent drug criminals get into the country? Are they here illegally? Does that make them illegal immigrants? Would their children be eligible for in-state college tuition under the dream act if they stay here long enough? If a policeman or Border Patrol Agent shot one of these illegal immigrant, assault weapon owning drug dealers in the backside who would end up in prison?

239 is a very exact number which makes me think that some very exacting police and DEA work has been done to arrive at this number. What are the 239 cities? Are they only operating in those cities?  Do we know who any of these people are? If we know they are here and we know who they are, why don’t we arrest them? Are they working only with other illegal immigrants or are there American citizens involved. Why aren’t they under arrest? I could go on but I think you get the idea. There have been a number of our laws broken already but if we could just ban these assault weapons all these other laws could somehow be enforced.

Ms. Lowey further stated that these drug kingpins. “…come here and buy weapons to take back across the border. There are 200 gun dealers near the border making a fortune. ”

Do the drug dealers come in and fill out the lawfully mandated paperwork?  How do they get the guns back across the border? Would enforcement of our existing border laws make this harder? Are they using fake IDs? Who are the dealers they are buying the weapons from? If we know these 200 gun dealers are selling weapons illegally to drug dealers why don’t the police arrest them. Why doesn’t the Obama Administration pull their dealer licenses and impound their inventory while we investigate who they are selling guns to?  Don’t gun dealers have to keep records about who they sell to? Are all of these laws being followed?

The philosophy of this administration is grounded in that old Saul Alinsky rule for radicals to let no crisis be wasted! Why let a little drug war go to waste when the liberals see a chance to limit your Second Amendment rights?

 Here is my advice to Ms. Lowey and her gun hating friends, do a little more police work and get a clue! If you want to repeal the Second Amendment have the courage of your convictions and say so. Stop using our nation’s problems to try to foist your liberal agenda on your fellow citizens. Yes, you won the election but during that election your guy assured us that he wasn’t interested in banning guns Now that he is our President I expect him to keep his word.

I am putting this challenge up to all my gun hating liberal friends. If you hate guns put a big sign in your yard that reads, “I hate guns and we don’t keep any in this house.”  Make it easy for the gun owners and the criminals! Any takers?


The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Speaking Obama

March 28, 2009


I the past few days there have been several reports about officials, high and low, using new politically correct language to describe things which have been around for awhile. The best example is the new head of the Department of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, refusing to use the word “terrorist.”  She preferred describing terrorist actions as “Man Caused Disasters.” The problem with politically correct speech is that it hides the obvious. Even Big Freakin’ Hillbillies like me understand an illegal immigrant is someone who broke the law to get into this country. We of simple minds get confused when folks from the Ivy League start describing them as “migrants”. A migrant to us plain spoken folk is someone who waited in line, did the right thing and came here in accordance with our laws.

In order for us morons on the right to understand the new speak of the Obama administration I offer this glossary of terms before and after being “Obamized”. Feel free to add to my list while you are still able.

Old Bush/Cheney/ Halliburton Hate Speech             Obama Speak


Terrorist                                              Misunderstood Islamic Freedom Fighter

Terrorist Act                                                 Man Caused Disaster

Freedom Tower                            Chinese World Business Headquarters

Enemy Combatant                           Victim of Bush Chaney War Crimes 

Illegal Immigrant                                       Migrant/Democrat Voter

Global War on Terror                     Overseas Contingency Operation

Axis of Evil                                            Islamic Republic of Iran

Socialism                                         Government Friendly Capitalism

Welfare                                                        Tax Rebate

Wealth Redistribution Scam                    Global Warming

Global Warming                                      Climate Change


Businessman                                              Greed Monger

Entrepreneur                                   Government Revenue Enhancer

Middle Class                                                   Rich

Republican                                                   Tax Payer

Conservative                                              Klansman

Abortion                                             Reproductive Rights

Unfettered Abortion                      Embryonic Stem Cell Research

Windfall Profits Tax                                 Cap and Trade

Volunteer                                         Americorps Political Activist

On Time Mortgage Payer                               Chump

Marxist/Socialist Liberalism                          Historic Presidency    

Dollar                                                             Global Currency

Reeducation Camp                                         Job Training

Health Care                                              Socialized Medicine

Wall Street                                U.S. Department of Economic Control

Rehashed Clinton Administration               Change You Can Believe In

Conservative Supreme Court Justice                    Homophobe

Private Property                                  Future Government Acquisition

Bipartisanship                                                 Do It Our Way

Contract Provision                                     Government Oversight                                  

Seek input from across the aisle.               We won, sit down and shut up.

Private Enterprise                                 Future Federal Employment Project   

Unemployment                                          Idleness Compensation Program

National Security Issue                                Law Enforcement Problem

Defend and Protect the Constitution                      If It Fits My Agenda

Helen Thomas, Living Fossil!

March 25, 2009

I watched the Presidential news conference last night and perhaps the most striking thing I learned was there is apparently some sort of assisted care shortage in America. I figured that out when I saw Helen Thomas sitting there in the front row. I used to think that she was always in the front row as some sort of odd show of respect. It occurred to me last night that she might never leave her seat. I have come to believe that Helen has been in that seat since sometime in the Carter Administration.

America's Sweetheart

America's Sweetheart

I noticed Helen doze off a time or two during the Presidential presser. She seemed to have this attitude that this whole thing was interrupting her evening. I am willing to kick in a few extra bucks myself to find her a place in a managed care facility.  Isn’t there some sort of liberal social safety net for their aging propagandists?

That Helen Thomas is still employed is amazing given the fact that she appears to have passed away several years ago. Employed and dead!  This feat had previously only been accomplished by city employees in Chicago’s garbage removal department.


 I am not exactly sure what rag employs Ms. Thomas. This is what really amazes me. Somewhere out there is an editor who one day said, “The world needs a ninety year olds views of the news. Why just hear about the last depression when we can have somebody who lived through it.” Perhaps this attitude explains the downward spiral of the dinosaur press.

Oh yeah, the President also said something about spending trillions to get the economy moving. I could have sworn I heard him say that his plan was to grow the economy by raising taxes on the rich and charities, and expanding government control of business and health care.  I think I also heard him say by omission that if Congress didn’t give the middle class the tax break he promised it wouldn’t be a deal breaker. Do those girls have a puppy yet?  

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Aren’t Toxic Assets an EPA Problem?

March 23, 2009

I am no Noble Prize winning economist like Paul Krugman. I didn’t go to Harvard or Dartmouth like the president and his economic brain trust of Geithner and Paulson. I did, however pass seventh grade math at Holy Family School in Ashland, Kentucky and the way I see it something doesn’t add up.

Way back in October, (you remember October, it was when the Worlds Series was going on), the President was saying unless us slapped down seven or eight hundred billion dollars to get rid of bad mortgages and other “toxic assets” we were going to slide down into the abyss of economic ugliness from which there was no return. We needed to do it right then! Now! Today! Wait, is this a four day weekend? Ok, we’ll do it Monday. Do you remember?  So we ponied up the dough and that solved the problem, right?

Then change came to Washington and there was change! The new President said that unless we plunked down another nine billion to one trillion were going to slide down into an economic abyss from which there was no return. We needed to do it today, now…I think you get the picture. Do you see the change? It’s subtle but it’s there, the amount went up by about two hundred billion! That’s change I can believe in.

Now the Wizard of Odd, Tim Geithner says that he want the private sector to put up another trillion or so to get rid of “toxic assets.” He is saying that the private money is needed to get credit flowing again.

Don’t forget somewhere in there was a budget for everything else that came in around 1.2 trillion and another four or five hundred billion for walking around money.

So here is how I see it from a seventh grade math perspective. To get rid of toxic assets we have put out about to two trillion seven hundred million dollars. To make the math easy let’s say the average mortgage is 200,000.  So, 200,000 divided into 2,700,000,000,000 equals 13.5 million. Do I have that right? There are roughly two hundred and seventy million Americans, at an average of four to a household equals roughly sixty seven million households. Let’s say that, and I know this is a high estimate, 75% own a house, and so there would be just over 50 million mortgages in America meaning the government has bought up over one quarter of all of the houses in the country for that amount of money? I ain’t buying it! Where is the money going? Here’s the kicker, I don’t think anybody knows where all the money is going.

Maybe the way to handle the toxic assets is to say that any toxic waste is a problem for the EPA to handle and they could put some guys in bio sits and bury the lot of them somewhere in the Nevada desert. We could get Al Gore to issue a carbon credit and hope the 2010 elections get here before the bill comes due.   

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: I Take Full Responsibility

March 21, 2009

As all the politicians, left and right, run around feigning indignation at the bonuses paid to a few AIG executives I am reminded of the scene in the movie “Casablanca” when Captain Renault closes down Rick’s Café American. As his deputies empty the casino in the back room he exclaims with stunned surprise, “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!” He says this just as one of Sam’s employees brings him his winnings.

Tim looks back to make sure the door doesn't hit him

Tim looks back to make sure the door doesn't hit him

I am not sure what makes me angrier, that absolutely bogus attitude or their overwhelming incompetence, but that’s not what I want to write about today. I’m not going to write about a lot of stuff here. I am not going to write about fact that Chris Dodd wrote the rule that allowed these bonuses and in perfect Clintonese quasi denied it when he said, “I can’t point a finger at someone who was responsible for putting those dates in. I can tell you this much, when my language left the senate, it did not include it. When it came back, it did.”  Then when confronted with his lie he owned up to it. I won’t spend time on the fact he took a ton of campaign dough from AIG, headquartered in his state. 

Let’s over look the fact that the total amount of money all these phonies in the House and the Senate have their shorts up their collective crack about is about one tenth of one percent of the money we have flushed down the rat hole that is AIG. That it is less than one half of one percent of the forty billion sent to a French bank by AIG. Are they trying to get that money back with a special law? Let’s put aside the fact that this amount is less than one ten-thousandth (.0001%) of the total bailout. It is also far less than the 8 or 9 thousand earmarks in their last spending bill. Could they pass a special law to get that money back?

Let’s forget that while a number of people who are living large on the largess of the American taxpayer are clutching their chests in their best Fred Sanford impression for the TV cameras they continue to throw untold trillions into the nation debt and continue to fill legislation with pork and earmarks while they think we are distracted. Maybe Senator Grassley and a few of his friends could resign or commit suicide over that.

 I haven’t got time to write about these same grandstanding politicians who pass unconstitutional laws and waste time while real issues need attention, like finally reading the stimulus bill and seeing what else is lurking in there. I will not bring up the fact that Obama could create five million jobs for American citizens by simply making employers follow Federal law.

Today I will focus on Mr. Timothy Geithner, the Secretary of the Treasury. This is the guy who was supposed to be so brilliant that we needed to overlook the fact he cheated on his taxes.  Without him we had no chance of recovery from this black hole of an economy! After hearing how he was the only person in America who could save us I was praying he didn’t have a heart attack or stroke for then we would be lost.  If he died who would replace this irreplaceable man? Perhaps America would simply vanish without him. It seems all his friends have vanished rather than take a job alongside him. Then again the may have used the same tax system the Secretary used.

 I will focus on something he said that is often used by public figures that have either failed miserably or been caught with their hand in the cookie jar, “I take full responsibility!” Sometimes they use the “personal responsibility” variation. If they want you think they are really serious they will take “full and personal responsibility.”  

 In a move that is a favorite among incompetent politicians, failed and greedy CEOs  and religious leaders caught with their pants down, Mr. Geithner  has stepped up and taken, “full responsibility” for this AIG mess.

Just once I would like a reporter to ask any of these scumbag CEOs, politicians, and assorted others who run to this position to explain exactly what that means. Does it mean you were the one who committed the acts and you are now ready to face the consequences? Does it mean that these acts were committed by those who you are supervising and since you did not or were not able to do your job you are stepping down?

Generally speaking it means; “I have been caught and there is so much evidence against me that only the feeble of mind would buy my defense, so I admit it was my fault. Can we now forget about it?”

Perhaps, the only thing phonier is when someone above the person taking “full or personal responsibility” states that they have “full confidence” in the person who is under fire. Usually the axe falls a few days later. Mr. Geithner, I think AIG is hiring but the bonus structure sucks, you might want to try Fannie Mae.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Obama Greater Than Europe?

March 19, 2009


The Federal Office of Trend Management announced today that Obamaina has officially replaced Europhoria as the favorite new high of the far left. Europhoria is the absolute adoration of anything European over anything American. Until recently progressives in the United States preferred coveting things European when they needed a lift. For example, if you were considering buying a new car and said something about a Ford Explorer or F-150 pickup they would tell you all about their Saab or BMW.  Then they would segue into how in Europe they have very expensive gasoline because the governments understand that high gas taxes are good for the environment and keep the hoi polloi off the highways.

A lot of their sentences would start, “You know, in Europe…”  For example when talking with a progressive friend about the current debate about health care they might bring up the European model of social welfare and yap on about it greatness. Your progressive friend might say, “You know in Europe everyone has free health care, thirty weeks vacation a year and is eligible for retirement at 47.”  You try to mention how you have to wait in line for five months to get a prostate exam but they are already recounting how great it was to ride the public transportation three blocks to the Opera House in Vienna.  New Your Times Columnist Paul Krugman even managed to a plug for Euro socialism in a recent column when he said it was like an ongoing government stimulus package so great for the economy!

Wealthy Progressives usually vacation in Europe, especially if they are New York Times columnists like Krugman or Maureen Dowd. They prefer Spain or the south of France to anything as pedantic or pedestrian as Florida or Mt. Rushmore.

In a column about a year ago Maureen Dowd indulged in both Europhoria and Obamania when she related to her readers how the Parisians have already elected Obama in their hearts. Her implication is that the people of Paris can predict the outcome of elections and since they are Europeans they must be more avant-garde that stupid Americans. With this sentence she also indulging herself in the first and most basic of all Progressive myths; You are stupid. This is some strange logic since the French elected their right winger, Nicolas Sarkozy, when the popular press in American had assured all of us that Socialist Segolene Royal was a shoe in.    

New polling shows that the majority of progressives have recently switched to mentioning Obama when they wanted to put down something typically American like private property, baseball, free enterprise, capitalism, personal responsibility or regular bathing. Many of the sentences you hear in conversations with Progressives today now begin with, “Now that Obama is President…”

They praise the President for bringing change from the evil triumvirate of Bush, Chaney and Halliburton. Even though Halliburton is still the major contractor of the U. S. Government and will be well into the future. They laud how he got lobbyist out of government, except for the ones he wanted. They cheer how he closed Guantanamo but I believe there are still prisoners there. While we’re at it did those girls ever get a dog?

Obamania is all around us so be on the lookout for it. It is most often seen on CBS or MSNBC. Chris Matthews is one of its greatest devotees. Post up your favorite example of Obamania or Europhoria and let us bathe in his greatness and the wonders of all things European.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: When Am I Supposed To Get Any Work Done?

March 19, 2009

This is a bad time of year for me. This is a time where a confluence of events comes together to stop me from getting anything done. I like college basket ball. For the next three weeks I am a college basketball junkie.  March Madness has it’s hands around my throat and is shaking me like a pit bull shaking a rabbit in it’s teeth.

Just as the NCAA tourney is coming to a close Major League Baseball kicks off it’s season. I am a Cub fan but will watch any baseball from little league up to the final game of the World Series. My son, who has recently adopted the nickname  “Tito” , loves his baseball too and we are doing a road trip to Wrigley and to the new Miller Field in Milwaukee in July.

Just when The furor from the opening of the MLB season is dying down comes the first major of the PGA tour, The Masters. I will put it on the DVR and watch ever minute at least once.

So if I seem to be slacking off for the next three weeks, I’m checking out a game.