The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Breaking Down Barack

 

Ever since Bill Clinton gave us the greatest insight into the modern political mind with the words, “it depends on what the meaning of “is” is.” it has become important for the intelligent citizen to closely parse all political speech. I didn’t listen to President Obama’s speech to congress live because I was busy watching a “Maude” marathon on some obscure cable network. I recorded the speech so I could fast forward through all of the obligatory applause breaks and got his hour and ten minute speech down to forty five minutes. I pulled out a few quotes from the speech so I could break them down and share their deeper meaning. Mr. Obama’s words will be in bold and my explanation will follow. I may have missed your favorite quote, or your take on these may be a little different than mine so feel free to add it when you comment.

 

 

Let the socialism begin!

Let the socialism begin!

 

“Nor did all of our problems begin when the housing market collapsed or the stock market sank. We have known for decades that our survival depends on finding new sources of energy.”

 

So your theory, Mr. President, is that if we would have given out a wind turbine or a solar panel with every bad loan we would be ok today?  

“And though all these challenges went unsolved, we still managed to spend more money and pile up more debt, both as individuals and through our government, than ever before”

So the new plan is to pile up another trillion or two in debt? That’s our bold new strategy?

.“People bought homes they knew they couldn’t afford from banks and lenders who pushed those bad loans anyway.”

Encouraged, some may say forced, to do so by a liberal congress which tried to enact yet another piece of social engineering with no regard to the unforeseen consequences.  

“Not because I believe in bigger government — I don’t.”

… and to prove this, for the rest of this speech all I will talk about is new government programs with big budgets and more bureaucrats.

“Because of this plan, 95 percent of working households in America will receive a tax cut — a tax cut that you will see in your paychecks beginning on April 1st.

Enjoy your eight dollars a week! Have a pound of hard salami on me!

“And that’s why I’ve asked Vice President Biden to lead a tough, unprecedented oversight effort — because nobody messes with Joe.”

Except that scam artist Stanford who took him and his family for 22 million.

 “…this time, CEOs won’t be able to use taxpayer money to pad their paychecks, or buy fancy drapes, or disappear on a private jet. Those days are over.”

In the private sector! From now on those privileges are reserved to those in government service

“But while the cost of action will be great, I can assure you that the cost of inaction will be far greater.”

How do we know? Unfortunately for the taxpayers the government is always in action.

“But to truly transform our economy, to protect our security, and save our planet from the ravages of climate change…”

Coldest winter in 30 years and thickest polar ice since 1979, are you sure about that whole global warming thing?

“… we need to ultimately make clean, renewable energy the profitable kind of energy. So I ask this Congress to send me legislation that places a market-based cap on carbon pollution and drives the production of more renewable energy in America. That’s what we need.”

More taxes on the wealthy! More government regulation! Happy days are here again comrades! But I don’t believe in bigger government!

. We’ve also made the largest investment in basic research funding in American history — an investment that will spur not only new discoveries in energy, but breakthroughs in medicine and science and technology.”

More taxes! More Bureaucrats! But I don’t believe in bigger government

“This budget builds on these reforms. It includes a historic commitment to comprehensive health care reform — a down payment on the principle that we must have quality, affordable health care for every American.”

More taxes! More Government in your life! But I don’t believe in bigger government.

Now, there will be many different opinions and ideas about how to achieve reform, and that’s why I’m bringing together businesses and workers, doctors and health care providers, Democrats and Republicans to begin work on this issue next week.

…and the genii says, “Let me see that map of the Middle East again!”

“Now, I’m proud that we passed a recovery plan free of earmarks…”

Of course there is still plenty of pork and pet projects we just aren’t calling them earmarks. What the meaning of “is” is, Excellent! Hehehehe!

“And yesterday, I held a fiscal summit where I pledged to cut the deficit in half by the end of my first term in office.

If you spend $800 billion you don’t have in the first three weeks of your administration and cut that down to just $400 billion in four years haven’t you cut the deficit by 50%?

“And that is why I can stand here tonight and say without exception or equivocation that the United States of America does not torture.”

Really? Then why is this speech so long?

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One Response to The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Breaking Down Barack

  1. llabesab says:

    Puhlease!! Do not call what The Anointed One does “A Speech.” It is a “Reading” as in, “..Watch The teleprompter.” By the way, did you know that those devices are henceforth to be referred to as “Teleprompter One”–as in “Air Force One?”

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