The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: The New York Times; DNR

The major print instrument of propaganda wing of the Democrat Party, AKA : The New York Times, seems to be on life support. Anyone with critical thinking skills knows it has been brain dead for years. Please don’t start writing me comments about how great the paper was, I agree with you but that was forty years ago before the political agenda of the editors and writers became more important than reporting the facts. I like reading the New Your Times for the same reason a lot of you liberals secretly listen to Rush and Sean.  I am constantly amazed at the things they print as fact which are way off base. I have one advantage, my daily dose of fiction comes with the best crossword puzzle in the world.

Maybe the management thought they could run a newspaper the way our politicians run a government. Just keep spending and worry about where the money was going to come from later. Since the management of the Times supports socialist solutions for our national economic problems maybe they could apply these ideas to their own problems and see how well they work.

1) Infrastructure investment.  The Times could hire a bunch of people to paint their offices, clean up the loading dock, Feng Shui the cubicles and do other meaningless jobs in the hopes they would stop buying the Daily News once they had more money.  

2) Go Green  Get rid of all those energy hog computers and modern presses and go back to some good old Remington manual typewriters and a hand cranked mimeograph machine. An added benefit for the staff would be they could spend less on pot and get their high from sniffing the mimeo fumes.

3) Raise Taxes on the “Rich” They could give the paper away to anyone who makes less than $45,000 a years and charge anyone who makes over $250,000 a year pay $300 a day.

4) Windfall Profits Tax to Level the Playing Field   Management could get their Democrat friends in the congress to tax successful media, like Conservative talk radio and Fox News and kick the money back to the Times.

5) More Government Regulation Barney Frank could declare the print media to be out of control and set up a Federal Board of Newspaper Regulation where all newspapers would be forced to print the same stories and photos. The First Amendment could be a problem but I am sure they could find a way around that.  

6) Create an Entitlement Program  The government could gather all of the troubled liberal fish wraps into a group, declare them to be an endangered species and make them part of the NEA or some other government boondoggle.

Of course if they really wanted to save the Old Grey Lady they could do something really radical and report the news and keep the opinion stuff at the end of the first section.

 

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