Poor Caroline Kennedy! All of her life she has gotten anything she wanted and never had to work too hard at it. She has taken on some big projects like editing a book of her mother’s poetry. Who knew? She has put on dazzling fund raisers for the schools in New York City. I am sure she was down there schlepping the tables and putting up the stage lights. Over the years she raised over six million dollars for her charity! Forget the fact she could have written a personal check for twice that amount and never had it change her lifestyle one jot. Where is the fun in that? When you’re writing a check in the privacy of your Long Island estate or in your 75 million square foot Manhattan apartment you don’t get to wear a fancy designer gown or get your picture in the New York Times.
So one day Mrs. Schlossberg woke up and thought it would be a great service to America if she volunteered to be a United States Senator. Why not? She was extremely well qualified. Her dad and two uncles had both done it. One of them had served while he was drinking heavily most of the time, so how hard could it be? She went to law school and had co-written a book about the right to privacy. You know the same murky constitutional right the Roe vs. Wade decision is founded on. Most of all she was a Kennedy and therefore entitled be elevated to rule by divine right.
Her Majesty went around the state and allowed the commoners to touch the hem of her garment and kiss her ring. Then Caroline went home to select her wardrobe for the swearing in ceremony but somehow things got off course. People were saying that maybe the next Senator should have some experience in government in order to represent the people. Then her friends in the media had the nerve to start asking questions. Being royalty isn’t what it used to be. There were rumors about her marriage, family and her employment of illegal aliens. People brought up questions about her passion for the job and looked at her past employment history where she had trouble staying with a job more than a year. You all know how the story ended. She got dumped by Governor Patterson in favor of some woman from upstate who believes in gun rights! Can’t you almost hear it being screamed in John McEnroe voice, “Upstate? Gun rights? You have got to be kidding me!”
I am sure that Caroline Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg believes that someone owes her a serious apology. She may be right but that line starts right behind Sarah Palin.
I do a bit in my nightclub act about how hard it is to make a suspense thriller in Hollywood today because of political correctness. You can’t make a black man or an Arab the bad guy; that’s racial prejudice. You can’t make a woman the villain or you’re a sexist. If a gay man or woman is the heavy then you are a homophobe and in today’s Hollywood there is no more dangerous career move than going up against La Cosa Finocchio. In the perfect politically correct world of Hollywood there are no Latino gang members, no Arab terrorists, no Black mobsters, no bad gay men or women, or evil straight women. There is only that diabolic oppressor, the middle aged white guy. So when you go to see a movie like the recent hit “Iron Man” as soon as fat bald middle aged white Jeff Bridges walks on the screen its dollars to donuts that he’s Mr. Big, the head of all evil doings and the one pulling all the strings.
There has also been another interesting movement in Hollywood over the last twenty years. It’s the politically correct movement against acting. There has been a call from inside the acting unions and from activist groups to only cast perfect ethnic and physical matches for roles in film and on television. For example if the script calls for a hearing impaired character you should cast a person who is hearing impaired, no acting required. If you have a role for a Mexican character you should cast an actor who is ethnically Mexican. You should not cast an Italian guy who is a better actor and still looks the part because there is no way that he could “act” Mexican as well as the authentic item. When Tom Hanks and Antonio Banderas were cast in the movie “Philadelphia” to play gay men there was some controversy about straight men playing gay. How could they possibly understand the gay experience under the oppressive straight white man?
So why when Sean Penn was cast to play the iconic gay politician Harvey Milk was there not even a murmur from the gay activist community? I believe it is the same reason that woman’s groups said nothing about the various sexual shenanigans of Bill Clinton; the politics of the offender were so perfectly leftist no foul was called. Bill Clinton was for unfettered abortion and appointed a women to be Surgeon General, Attorney General and Secretary of State, how could he possibly be a sexual harasser? Sean Penn is a leftist’s leftist and leftist do not eat other leftist for breakfast, it just isn’t done.
A final piece of political correctness in Hollywood that drives me up the wall is how the term “actress” is seen as politically incorrect. In the beautiful world of the Screen Actors Guild we are all equal and all known simply as “actors”. Until it comes to handing out the SAG Awards then there is a category for “female actor”. If we are all equal why not just one award for best actor? I think a lot of “female actors” are afraid that too many fat bald middle aged white guys would win, you know how they are!
Ahh my friends there is nothing like spending a few days in some third world countres to make you long for a hot dog not made from a real dog and some tap water that you can count on despite what the emviromentalists say. I will be returning home today and hitting you with a new blog tomorrow. I can’t wait to get back to all that nice deep white global warming in the midwest!
Strange how as we in Flyoverland struggle with huge heating bills and subzero tempetures how we aren’t seeing a lot of polar bears on ice floes or hearing about how Miami will be underwater in a few weeks. I am still waiting for some greenie to tell me what the optimal average earth temperture for human life might be.
The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy is taking a few days off in Aruba. Even here Obamania is rampant Bumper stickers licence plates, tee shirts, and a lot more. I pretty sure McCain did not carry Aruba but of course they don’t vote but if they would all just sneak into Sothern California they would have a good shot at getting a ballot and a drivers licence. I was really hoping to see a tee shirt with an Obama promise to find Natilie Holloway right after he keeps his promise to get Bin Ladin.
Oh well I have another ice tea to drink and get back to avoiding reality!
Thanks for reading and I’ll be back in a few days
Without any hint of irony or sarcasm the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy wishes Barack H. Obama all the best. We can only hope he does what is best for America.
I may not be a Nobel Prize winning economist like Paul Krugman but it seems to me that creating a ton of government make work jobs isn’t the way out of the economic problems we are experiencing. Mr. Krugman is advocating a new New Deal. Maybe that’s because during economic difficulties economists get a lot of talking head time and the co-eds in Princeton dig a guy on the TV. Maybe it’s because socialists like Krugman still worship at the altar of FDR and see Obama as some sort of FDR/JFK hybrid (you know how they love their hybrids) with a little Clean Gene McCarthy thrown in for good measure. Like I said I am no Nobel Prize winning economist but even a big freakin’ hillbilly like me can figure out that each new government job has to cost the government more than it brings in. If it didn’t the solution to any economic crisis would be to expand the size of government. I believe that was tried in Russia and in the words of the great second level philosopher Dr. Phil. “How did that work for you?”
Soon to be President Obama has promised to either create or save somewhere between ten and three million jobs. I have a few questions. How does the President create jobs? Sure he can expand the number of government employees but are those jobs? Every person who pulls a government check is a drain on the economy from the guy behind the big desk to the person sweeping the floor out at Area 51. The President can try to foster conditions that encourage people who run businesses to hire more people but he can’t actually create those jobs. When the President raises taxes whether it’s on the top three percent of earners or on corporations he discourages the creation of jobs.
More interesting is the stat that the new president has created which is job saves. Exactly how do you tell that you saved a job? There is no subjective way to do this so why not just claim that you have saved the job of every person who is working in the United States today? Why stop there? Why not claim that your policies have kept a few million Chinese working as well? Maybe bailing out falling businesses like GM and AIG actually costs us future jobs in better run companies with better products. Too bad this current idea that some businesses are too big to fail wasn’t around at the turn of the last century we might still have a thriving stagecoach and bustle manufacturing plants cranking out useless products today!
We conservatives are in a tough spot when it comes to demanding less government spending. Bush trashed the time honored conservative principle that we were against big government by trying to spend his way to popularity with the left. Some drugs for old folks here, an earmark there, a barrel of pork or two and then add a few hugs bailout and pretty soon we are talking serious money. Now true conservatives are in the same position as a reformed compulsive gambler trying to stop his wife from spending. NO matter how sensible and well reasoned his logic his wife can always remind him of all the money he wasted on his gambling addiction. When conservatives in congress try to put the brakes on runaway spending the liberals can just throw Bush’s deficits in our collective face and continue on their merry socialistic way.
If the inauguration of the new President is any indication the spending in Washington isn’t about to slow down. I know politics has a short term memory problem but back in 2004 the left threw a hissy fit about the Bush committee spending fifty million on his second inauguration. The Obama tab is at 150 and rising in economic hard times. Perhaps the solution to the whole economic problem is for the Obama administration to just keep the whole celebration going for the next four years.