I have been trying to think of a nickname for the Obama Presidency. I know he’s not the president yet and there are several lawsuits pending about silly things like his birthplace and citizenship but hey, let’s not let technicalities ruin a good party. Seems to me it should be easy enough to check his mother’s passport records and see if she was out of the country on or near his birth date. If not then the controversy is ended. If State Department records show she was not here then we start searching the records of Kenya to see when turns up. I can’t imagine whet the records from a developing African country from the early sixties look like but it might be fun. Did Kenya require a visa for visitors? Were vaccination records required for travel to Central Africa back then? There are hundreds of way to put this to bed so let’s, if I may quote the popular second level philosopher Larry The Cable Guy, “Git ‘er done.”
Let’s get back to the nickname thing. When picking a good nickname it has to fit. The whole theme of He Who Is’ campaign was change. Change is a wonderful campaign promise. How can you miss? By definition when you get a new administration things change, well most things with the possible exception of holdovers and rehires from the last two presidents. Look at the things he’s changed already, his position on Iraq, his position on talking to our enemies, the whole thing about changing the way things get done in Washington, tax cuts, and where’s the puppy? I know the Obamatons won’t agree that he has gone back on his word but I never try to argue with people on matters of religion and that is what Obama is to a lot of leftists. The Change-O-Matic presidency might be a good fit but it lacks a certain je-ne-sais- quoi. Where’s the snap?
I was thinking about all of the talk of change we heard during the campaign and how McCain would be just Bush’s third term. If you look at who Obama has lined up for foreign policy it looks more and more like when it comes to Iraq that Obama will be Bush’s third term. So I thought we might just call Barack “Bush Lite” but then realized a beer already had that name.
Then this morning I was in the airport on my way to a gig and I walked by a Cinnabon. I don’t know if you are familiar with this fast food outlet but they make huge cinnamon rolls smothered in sweet sugary icing. I can usually smell the cinnamon from the remote parking lot and by the time I get through the so called security, ( I have a half used two ounce tube of toothpaste, are we really under less of a terrorist threat if I put it in a one quart zip lock baggie?) I have to have one. I look up at the big ad over the menu board! Man is that beautiful! I am so tired of oatmeal and fruit, I need a change. I order and dig in and after about three bites I realize this was a mistake. I don’t need all the sugar and fat and I just ate forty minutes ago but I don’t want to admit my mistake just yet. By the time I am halfway through I’m disgusted and thinking the banana and coffee would have been a better choice. Why was I fooled again? So that’s my nickname for Obama, The Cinnabon President, he looked good in the ads but are you going to be happy halfway through? Leftists, please don’t answer until 2011.