I know all of my leftist friends are in a state of total euphoria. All of the journalists like Chris Mathew, Maureen Dowd, Anderson Cooper, Katie Couric and Keith Obermann have declared Obama the winner of the White House in a landslide. I understand the New York Times has already printed their front page for November fifth. Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank are busy writing new laws outlawing the Republican Party and getting ready issue federal arrest warrants for Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage. Re-education camps are being readied for the members of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Hillary is out shopping for a black pant suit to wear under her Supreme Court robe. Oprah is planning a week of special shows each dedicated to one of Barack’s new spending programs. At the end of each program she will pick an audience member to have their wealth redistributed to get things started.
The Champaign is on ice, the confetti is ready to be thrown and the balloons are ready to be dropped. Plans for the coronation, I’m sorry, inauguration are being drawn up and the tee shirts are being printed. You are all making your party plans and I know what fun it is and I hate to be a wet blanket but the Fat Lady has not yet agreed to sing.
I know all of you lefties have been IM’ing, texting, e-mailing and blogging each other reinforcing your belief that it’s a done deal. I know when you drive your Prius to the Organic Food Farmers Market and Hemp Clothing Outlet all you see is Obama 08 stickers and you know it’s going to happen. I am a Cub fan and I was pretty sure I would be watching my beloved Cubs play Tampa Bay tonight but here I am watching the Phillies. So just take a deep breath for a second and imagine a different world than the one you live in. In this world we are unhappy with Bush and his mediocre leadership but not quite ready to become France. We are not crazy in love with our candidate but not quite ready to wipe our collective backside with the Constitution for the sake of change.
I hate to seem petty, to stand on ceremony but some of us out here in Flyoverland want to vote before we let the Big O put his hand on the book. I can’t say I understand how it can be true but from everything I have read there are still ten to twelve percent of the voting public that say they are unsure who they are going to vote for. I may be wrong, those ten percent may go for Obama and I might be crying in my non-alcoholic beer a week from Wednesday but the Fat Lady may just be a card carrying member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy.