The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: A Hurricane in Ohio, The Return of the Conspiracy

I have been out of touch with the world for three days and it was actually pretty nice. Let me give you the back story, on Sunday the remnants of Hurricane Ike dropped down on us here in Flyoverland. We had six hours of winds that got as strong as eighty miles per hour. That’s a category one hurricane in the Midwest. The last one was in 1908. We get hurricanes as often as the Cubs win a world series so it wasn’t something we were expecting. I had a tree that was thirty inches in diameter fall across my driveway and another in back of my house. In our three state area there were over three million people without power. There are still several hundred thousand in the dark. So I got three days without the constant bombardment of political ads and internet. My neighbors and I cleared fallen trees for two days with chain saws and no help from FEMA.  We aren’t looking for the Feds or the State to come in and make us whole. There was no looting and the crime rate actually went way down for the past few days.  I saw a lot of people just driving around and when they saw someone who needed help pulled up and helped out. Cutting trees, clearing debris, fixing roofs and making sure older folks were ok.  We are the same morons who think things aren’t as bad as Big Media wants us to think they are and like Sarah Palin.  

Today the juice came back on and I had a lot of catching up to do. I had hundreds of e mails and messages on Facebook and My Space. I hadn’t written a word for four days and since I hadn’t been watching or reading the news didn’t know what to write about or exactly what had been going on. I went in search of a blog topic. Barack had hosted a $28,500 a plate dinner in LA to show how out of touch John McCain is with the common man, too easy. Our embassy in Yemen was attacked, to tragic. Then I saw it! It brought tears of joy to my eyes. One of Hillary Clinton’s best friends and big fundraisers had come out and endorsed McCain.

As the founder and chief conspirator of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy I was sad to see Hillary lose the nomination. Smacking the Clintons around was our raison d’être.  I was going to miss all the conniving and underhanded dealing, all of the graft and dalliances of Billy Boy.  I was wondering how the Clintons were going to handle trying to seem like they were supporting Obama and yet wishing he was going to lose so Hillary could run in 2012. I thought the VRWC was going to go the way of communism relegated to the ash heap of history. Then the heavy handed machinations of the Clintons appeared! One of their best friends and major fundraisers came out and endorsed McCain. Ms. Lynn Forester De Rothchild was on Fox News pumping up the Republican ticket. She didn’t really sound too enthusiastic to me. She didn’t really seem too sure what McCain’s policies were. I was waiting for her to say, “Sarah who?”  Then it hit me, she was sent out to endorse McCain by the Clintons. I believe that we will see more and more Cintonistas come out as the election gets closer. All the while Hillary will give her tepid stump speech for Obama and claim that she is 100 percent behind Barack. Change? Not the Clintons, they care about one thing, the Clintons.

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