The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Dude, Where’s My Change?

August 25, 2008

Joe Biden? That’s it?  Is this the start of the big sea change in American politics? He of the loose lips and bad hair transplants is the first change that Obama has for us? Seriously, if you sat down for a month and tried to think of a more “in the box” pick for a vice presidential candidate you would be hard pressed to come up with a more ho-hum name than Joe Biden. Oh wait, that’s just what the folks behind the Oracle from Chicago seem to have done. They went to the grocery store for salsa but came back with cottage cheese, old moldy cottage cheese. Senator Biden has been in Washington since Barack was in the fifth grade! This guy is carrying more baggage that a cruise ship porter.

Barack could have gone outside of politics to a business leader like his buddy Warren Buffett or into the academic world for someone who shares his world view like Ward Churchill. He could have bitten the bullet and picked Hillary and unified not only his party but the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy as well. He could have done a lot of things to foreshadow the changes he has in store for America but what he gave us was a VP pick that shouts politics as usual.

Be honest with me, my enlightened progressive friends, how many of you, when you got your text message and read that Joe Biden was the second half of the ticket either thought the system had been hacked or simply said, “What the (expletive deleted)!” Did any of you jump off of your futon in a burst of unrestrained joy? I didn’t think so.

What is the deep strategy behind this bold pick? Maybe Barack was trying to lock up Delaware and it three electoral votes which haven’t gone Republican since 1988. Perhaps Mr. Obama was afraid we were unsure of his anti-second amendment stance after his “…they cling to guns or religion…” statement.

I won’t get into the numerous verbal slap downs that Biden gave Obama before he polled a whopping one percent in Iowa and quit the presidential race. Maybe there is some hidden brilliance here that I am too much of a moron to see or maybe Barack just had a bad day.

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