Notes From The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Weenie Nation


I am going to pull an Obama and preempt anyone who might call me insensitive by saying up front that I am not insensitive and anyone who calls me names for this blog is really the insensitive one. I am trying to do a service to young men here!

I am concerned about the future of America. It’s not the Islamic extremists, the oil crisis, illegal immigration, the mortgage meltdown or even the impending election of a Socialist/Marxist to the presidency that has me concerned, it’s the weenieization of American men that has me worried.

I think it started with Marlo Thomas and her “Free to Be, You and Me” album back in 1972. It encouraged boys to cry and play with dolls.  It wasn’t long until guys were wearing earrings and frosting their hair. It’s been all downhill since then. Men were encouraged to get in touch with their feminine side and as a result we have weenie-men like Jay Mohr and Leonardo DiCaprio playing tough guys in movies and on TV.   

Little by little we lower the testosterone level of America and so we get used to seeing guys who wear makeup that aren’t in drag shows and men holding purses that aren’t waiting for their wives to come out of the changing room at a department store.

What has me concerned now is an article that showed up as filler in my local paper. I live in a small town where political correctness isn’t real big. You show up for a golf game in a pink shirt you better be pretty quick with a comeback and have a strong sense of self esteem.  You show up for a tee time in a pink polo carrying a man-purse you should be ready for some ribbing. Not that wearing pink makes you less of a man but if you want to be different be ready to stand your ground. Let’s be honest here who would you rather hang out with the very manly Tiger Woods or foppish Ian Poulter.

So the article has this headline which screams out “Younger bullies becoming a concern”. I have a young son so I read on. I expect to hear tales about stolen lunch money, wedgies, swirlies and black eyes. Nope, not there, the article focuses on two young kids (the boy is 11), their mom and advice from an “anti-bullying” expert named Kevorkian.  Can you say “ironic”?

The big problem for this young boy;  “He loves sports but is small for his age and often struggles for equal time during playground baseball and basketball games…” The real problem is that this kid probably doesn’t have a full time dad in his life to take him in the front yard and show him how to crows hop to throw the ball harder or give him a few lessons in how to lay into someone to kick a little ass on the court.  

There is another possibility that is hard for moms to face; maybe this kid, while he may love baseball and basketball, sucks. Maybe instead of crying about not getting his turn he should be setting the spread and booking bets.  My son has a couple of friends who are also small for their age but they are good athletes and don’t have any trouble getting their time on the playground because they demand it. They don’t run to the teacher crying about how they aren’t getting a turn.

I think one of the most important things you can teach a kid is that life isn’t fair. The only thing I have ever found that is fair is baggage claim. I don’t know when we got this idea in America that everyone can be good at everything or that you should get a trophy just for trying. I know this may sound harsh but here is my advice for this and every other boy who feels bullied for being excluded on the playground, grow a set, toughen up, work on our game or learn to play clarinet and be ready for band camp in high school.   



One Response to Notes From The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Weenie Nation

  1. […] movies and on TV. Little by little we lower the testosterone level of America and … Source: Notes From The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Weenie Nation Who Would Be A Worse Mom? Paris or Lindsey? Vote Now And Get A Free iPhone. Leonardo Dicaprio […]

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