The VAst Right Wing Conspiracy: Classic Tale from the Past

Readers  For those of you new to TVRWC here is a tale from one of the past local meetings. I hope you enjoy it Sometime when I write about the “meeting” it will help if you know the boys.


The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

One of our FOAFs (Friend of a Friend) was running for a local office last night which meant that we were all at the party for some free food and beer without the possibility of being arrested like when the boys went to the McCain party in Columbus.  Strangely enough the McCain victory party for Ohio was held in Texas just like the Wisconsin party was held in Ohio. So last night so we hunkered down at the Gun Rack for some chicken wings and sandwiches.

All the guys were there even Davy Ray who had been mad at me when I said that more Americans believed that Elvis was still alive that were voting for Ron Paul.  I thought about ribbing him about the fact the Romney had gathered more votes than Paul in Ohio last night and Mitt had quit campaigning three weeks ago. I didn’t because the K of C golf league starts in three weeks and I need a partner.

As it became clear that Hillary had gotten off the canvas last night and was making a comeback Junior said, “Well, Hillary saw her shadow it looks like six more weeks of campaigning.”

“That’s a good thing.” replied Big Bob.

“How do ya figure?” asked Huck.

All the guys rolled their eyes towards the Almighty in unison. Huck had committed the great faux pas at any meeting of the VRWC which is to ask Big Bob to expound on one of his political theories. If you ask Bob to answer any question you better have some time to kill but to get him started on his theories is to invite a Castro length speech down upon the group. We all ordered another beer and settled in on our stools.

“There is two reasons”, started Big Bob, tucking his thumbs into the arm pits of his hunting vest and striking a pose reminiscent of Mr. Haney from “Green Acres”.

“First, is that Hilly and Obie will now really get down to brass knuckles. It’s gonna get nastier than Rosie O’Donnell in a teddy. All the ugly stuff is gonna start coming out. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if that VRWC report on all of Bill’s gal pals is leaked to the Obama camp. They will be flinging more number two that a guy who empties Port-a-Potties. Meanwhile our boy McCain…”

“He ain’t my boy!” interjected Little Bob

Big Bob continued on without missing a beat.  “…can sit back and be a nice guy and watch the fur fly.”
“Yeah, Like when he dissed Willie Cunningham,” added Tommy.

“Exactly.” said Big Bob

“I didn’t get that whole thing about saying the “Hussein” part of his name.” said Jasper. “If he wins and gets sworn in the Chief Justice will call him Barrack Hussein Obama.”

Big Bob was getting a little flustered and wanted to get back to his theory. So he jumped back in the fray. “Second, is a more psychological,” continued Big Bob. “You see the news media will let McCain slip into the background and will cover the Dems non-stop through May. The voters will get tired of seeing Hillary…”

“I was tired of seeing her in ’93”, interrupted Little Bob.

 Every laughed and Big Bob reached around the back of his jeans like he was checking to make sure he had his concealed weapon on him. We calmed down real quick and he continued.

“…and Obama and people will be glad to see McCain when he comes back in mid-summer. Any questions?”

Everyone knew better than to ask for more on his theory so we all got real quiet. Buddy came over and said the open bar was about to be cut off as our FOAF was falling behind in the vote count so we all ordered another beer and headed over to the sports corner where the TV is permanently set to ESPN.


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