Note: Here are a couple more installments from the archives of TVRWC
The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Most of the guys from the VRWC Local were down at the Gun Rack to catch the LSU/Ohio State game last night. Big and Little Bob were wearing the scarlet and grey while Jimmy and Davy Ray were decked out in the gold and purple of the Tigers. All the other guys, including me were just there to get out of the house on a Monday night so we were just wearing whatever what we had been wearing all day except for Tommy. He showed up in a suit and tie because he had, in the words of many politicians, “misspoke” when he left the house and may have given the missus the idea he was going over to the Jordon Funeral Home for a visitation.
I was afraid the BCS vs. Playoff debate would come up again. Last year Big Bob and Tommy almost came to blows when Bob said that the Gators would have lost in the first round of a true playoff and got lucky against his mighty Buckeyes.
Fortunately, the conversation turned to the New Hampshire primary and how Hillary’s campaign was going into full Muskie/Dean cardiac arrest. We flipped over to the Communist News Network and watched the blowhard Carl Bernstein defend her blathering. Then Little Bob said he felt sorry for her. Then he said that if the democrats were true to their core values they would give her and Obama some extra votes.
Just about all the guys stopped in their tracks and the Gun Rack got so quiet you could hear Buddy squeaking the floorboards behind the bar. Little Bob noticed that all eyes and ears were on him and explained that if the Democrats really believed in affirmative action they would give a black guy and a woman a leg up. If they were true believers the Breck Girl should start four or five percent behind. Oh wait, that’s exactly what is happening!
The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
The guys got together last night to watch the Democrats debate which one of them could give the most money away while complaining about all of the debts Bush has run up. It was also gun night at the VRWC so all of the guys had their new Christmas weapons on them which meant we couldn’t go into the Gun Rack Bar and Grill an irony that was lost on several of the regulars in the group. State law forbids a concealed weapons permit holder from entering a place that serves alcohol. It also prohibits smoking there even though the Federal Government groups all three together in one agency ATF.
It’s been real fun watching Hillary explain why all women should get behind her for sisterhood but that all blacks voting for Obama for brotherhood would be a bad idea. It’s also been great watching Ol’ Bill smack down guys who give any lip to his old lady. I am hoping she gets the nod just so we can find out about all the gals he’s been with since the White House. The boys at National HQ of VRWC have a folder several inches thick just waiting to be released.
So we had to meet over at the Waffle House by the interstate. There was also a group of fellas there from the NRA Chapter which usually meets over at the Sportsman’s clubs so they were probably strapped up too. One of the guys said something about wishing someone would come in to try to rob the joint with all of us there packing heat. Then we started talking about an ad on TV where a woman is getting ready for a date and a guy tries to break in to her house. She runs into the next room and the alarm company calls her. Of course, the burglar has run off at the sound of an alarm and the guy on the phone says he’ll send help.
Junior piped up that in reality the meth head would have come in smashed the alarm and the girl with a tire iron and twenty minutes later when the police showed up they would be investigating a murder.
“Unless she had a gun,” Little Bob added. “Then she coulda run in the room, grabbed her Lady Smith and Weston 38, plugged the guy and been to the Olive Garden with her new beau by the time the cops showed up.”
The Waffle House was busy so it was hard to hear what the candidates were talking about. We kinda got to talking about some other until the check came. It took almost thirty minutes for Huck to figure out eighteen percent of six fifty. This makes me a little nervous ‘cause he was just named treasurer.