Progressive Myth Number 5: Big Government is Good

May 30, 2008

Progressives love big government. They love the concept of the government doing everything for them. Educate and raise their children in government schools and day care, great! Government health care, free for everyone! Anyone who wants the Government to run health care has not spent enough time at the post office.

 Recently far left major whack job Maxine Waters even suggested that the Government should nationalize the oil industry. Wouldn’t that be grand, imagine those same highly educated, friendly, courteous folk who are going through your underwear at the airport pumping your gas. I am sure that would drive the price down. I imagine she has a picture of Hugo Chavez in her bedroom and dreams of them meeting at an OPEC conference.


Hey Uncle Sam, can you replace our houses when we get flooded our or blown away by a hurricane? Can you tell me what kind of car to drive, how much and what I can eat, what I can smoke and drink? Can you make sure that no one gets ahead of anyone for any reason or ever does anything that anyone one else might take offense to.

I am surprised that some Progressive hasn’t demanded the government give us free toilet paper and someone to come over and wipe our bottoms for us.

Have you ever noticed that civil servants today don’t seem to know the meaning of either one of those words?  No matter how bad the economy gets the government never has lay-offs.  Government workers (or should we just call them job holders) never have to take a pay cut or get hit up to pay a bigger portion of their own health care expenses. That government job holders get raises every year based on the cost of living even if they suck at their jobs. Even when the government get “shut down” because the Congress can’t agree on how much more of our money they should spend when the employees come back they get paid for the days they didn’t work.

The fact is that there is very little the government can do better that the private sector. Let’s take the post office as an example. When Fed-Ex cut into the Post office parcel business the post office came up with their overnight “Express Mail”. They undercut the price Fed-Ex was charging and yet Fed-ex continued to crush the post office for overnight delivery. Why is this? Several reasons, service and dependability for sure but more important was the fact that if you are unhappy with Fed-Ex they actually care. They will do what they can to make it right or give you a refund. Every try to get a refund from the post office?  I can hear you laughing.

The IRS is pretty good at getting our money but is totally unnecessary. If the government really wanted to go green they could eliminate the IRS and go to a VAT or sales tax. Think of all the gas we would save if all of those IRS employees all over the country were riding their bikes down to the unemployment office. Think of all the trees we could save by eliminating paper work of the IRS.  

Perhaps the only outfit in the government that does a reasonable job is the military. Despite the political interference from the left since Viet Nam they have managed to keep us free, but the Progressives are working on that.


The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Priest Brings Clinton Back From The Dead!

May 30, 2008


This is why I love being the head of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy! Our original charter was to do everything possible to hurt the Clintons. We were almost out of business. Just when it looked like it was all over the Clinton’s threw up a Hail Mary to rival Doug Flutie from his Boston College days and everything is back in play.

Sunday, a white Catholic priest named Father Michael Pfleger was doing a guest set at Trinity United Church of Christ on the south side of Chicago.  I have seen him as a talking head on several opinion shows and he sounded like every white guy I ever met from the south side when I lived in Chitown. Then he started preaching at Trinity, a church made infamous by the Rev. Wright, and he was doing this very urban sounding “black” voice. Sort of like Hillary did when she was at a Martin Luther King Day celebration at a black church down south. Hummm?

Then he launches into a diatribe that would have made Huey P. Newton blush. Hillary is a rich white girl who felt entitled to the nomination. All whites have trust funds and are racist. And that was the nice stuff!

So just when the Obamamaniacs had beaten down all the Rev. Wright stuff and the Bill Ayers stuff and the guilt by association stuff and the clinging to their guns and religion stuff up pops this priest and puts the whole “Is he electable?” question back in play. That is just too big of a break for Hillary to be happenstance. When it comes to the Clintons there is no coincidence.  Just like it is now coming to light that the Scott McBackstabber book was funded indirectly by George Soros, soon we will find some tie between the Clintons and Fr. Phleger. Things that make you go Hummm…

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Who’s got your back?

May 29, 2008



Scott McClellan has gone off the reservation and spilled what he knew about the inner workings of the Bush White House. I am sure Progressives all over the country are gleefully rubbing their hands together and salivating over the juicy details. Before we all get too high from smelling the stench of treachery let’s consider a more important question. A question of what we value as in other human beings we work with and are friends with.

For me, it’s trustworthiness and loyalty. Those two things are paramount in all relationships but especially in politics. I think it was Benjamin Franklin who said, “We had better hang together or surely we will hang separately.” That used to be the American standard in friendship. Loose lips sink ships. Think of all the people who knew that Franklin Roosevelt was a cripple or that Jack Kennedy had a few flings.  Did any of them sell out the boss for a book deal with Judith Reagan?

There is an old joke about the Lone Ranger and Tonto riding west across the plains and all of a sudden hundreds of Indians spring up in front of them. The Lone Ranger asks his faithful companion what to do and Tonto says, “We ride back East.”  As they ride east the same thing happens and again the Lone Ranger asks Tonto what to do.  Tonto says, “We ride north.” So they ride north and soon they are surrounded and the Lone Ranger asks Tonto, “What do we do now?” To which Tonto replies, “What do you mean “we”, white man!”

Maybe McClellan rationalizes his backstabbing as something noble. Maybe he sees himself as the John Dean or Daniel Ellsberg of the Bush Administration. I am sure he doesn’t see himself for the scumbag he is. I think when you take a position of trust you should be banned for at least ten years from profiting on the knowledge you gained by being let into the big room. Our CIA agents are never allowed to talk.

  If the Bush administration was the movie “Spartacus” while all the other slaves were standing up and saying “I am Spartacus!”  Scott McClellan would be the guy who jumps up and says, “He’s Spartacus! That guy in the loin cloth over there, he’s the one you’re looking for.”

So my progressive friends enjoy reading this trash by a guy who sold out his friends and those who put their trust in him. But remember when you’re back to back with a guy fighting your way out of something awful you don’t want to have to be turning around to see if the guy you put your faith in is still back there. I know a lot of progressive idolize what they euphemistically call “whistleblowers” but if I am in a tough situation I would rather be back to back with G. Gordon Liddy.


The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy; A Letter to Lenny

May 28, 2008

 Here is a letter I have written to Leonard Pitts Jr., a columnist for the Tribune Media Services, in response to his column published in my hometown paper on May 27, 2008. The subject of the column was poor whites in West Virginia who voted against Obama on the basis of race.

Mr. Pitts,

I don’t often agree with much that you write but today you have said something that has an undeniable truth at it base; it is sad and ignorant when people cast their votes on the basis of race.

It’s a shame that you only see that ignorance in the poor whites of West Virginia who voted against Mr. Obama. There are also plenty of ignorant affluent elitist white people who are voting for Obama because he is black.  If there were a white candidate who held roughly the same positions as Obama he would out of the race. How do I know this? There was a white candidate who had almost the same positions and experience as Obama: Dennis Kucinich, long ago dismissed as too far left for even the Democratic Party.

There are also plenty of ignorant black people who are voting on the basis of race. Unfortunately, they aren’t all uneducated or impoverished. One needs look no further than the panel of the television show “The View” for proof. Panelist Sherri Shepherd recently said she would probably be voting for Obama because she finally had a chance to vote for someone who “looked like her.” Sad isn’t it?

But you know what is just as sad? There are a lot of rich, well educated women of all races who are backing Hillary Clinton just because she is a woman. Is voting on the basis of gender more or less sad than voting on the basis of race?

As for me I would be I would be happy to vote for a woman or a black candidate if they stood for the conservative principles that I hold. Condoleezza Rice, we need you!

Sincerely Yours,


Jeffrey Jena

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Memorial Day 2008

May 26, 2008



I am going to take a break from my usual railing against Obama worship, Hillary fawning, creeping socialism, creepy Marxist and other assorted misguided types and focus on the greatest Americans, those who serve.

Even though this is Memorial Day and not Veteran’s Day I hope that today as we relax in our homes, picnic on our decks, swim, and golf and generally goof off I want to take a minute and think about the brave troops who are hunkered down in Afghanistan and Iraq. Perhaps the most remarkable thing about these two wars is how little they actually affect the average Joe here in the land of the free. We don’t want for any goods, we don’t sacrifice any activity. Our movements are in no way restricted.

While hundreds of thousands of our best young people spend this holiday thousands of miles from home our lives go on seamlessly. While we give up nothing some give all.

I took my son to the parade today and we ended up at our local veteran’s cemetery. While I looked at the crosses and stars of David I thought of the line from CSN: “find the cost of freedom, buried in the ground.”

If you happen to see a veteran or a young man or woman in a uniform let them know how much we appreciate their sacrifice while we remember those who gave their lives so we can live so comfortably.  

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Oil, Econ and Obama

May 21, 2008


I got another e mail from an alleged “angry American” asking me to boycott one “evil and greedy” oil company and together we would drive the price of gas down to seventeen cents a gallon again. Ok, it didn’t say seventeen cents but if you follow his logic to conclusion we could drive it down that low.

Here is the “plan”. Nobody go to Exxon/Mobil gas stations for (Insert period of time here) and when they don’t sell us any gas they will drop their price. Then we boycott company (Insert name of next evil oil company here) and they will drop their price and so on, and so on until gas will only costs (insert price that sounds great here).

I will admit that I am just a BFH (big freakin’ hillbilly). Even though I watch CNBC almost every day and own stocks and mutual funds I really don’t understand economics but even I know that Exxon does not control the price of oil. The price of any commodity is controlled by supply and demand. Oil cost 130 dollars a barrel today instead of the 30 did just a few years ago because 2 billion people in China and India have discovered driving and microwaves. That is one third of the world’s population now pulling up to the pump instead of riding bikes like thirty years ago. So demand is up a bit.

While demand has grown, guess what?  Supply has stayed about the same. If we really want the price of oil and gas to drop we need to increase supply or drop demand. Now you may want to drive a golf cart or something similar but I like my V-8 with CD player and AC blasting as I do eighty on the interstate. I am all for alternate fuels and anything else we can do to stop buying oil from people who want to kill us but right now we don’t have them. We do have tons of oil. We also have a lot of boneheads who don’t want us to go get it. We have oceans of oil in Alaska and off shore in Florida and California.  So until we as a nation start worrying more about giving our energy dollars to terrorists and less about tundra wildlife don’t send me stupid e mails.

If we did boycott Exxon/Mobil station we would hurt someone, the small business people who own the stations. You know that guy with the funny Indian or Korean accent that is there 24/7, he owns the place not some fat cat behind a desk.  

The e mail also gets in a jab at a favorite progressive talking point those obscene profits BIG OIL is making. This ignores two important points, first is that the profits of EVIL BIG OIL don’t all come from gasoline or even from petroleum. Exxon is a huge company which has other businesses. Second is that although the numbers sound huge the total percentage profit is somewhere around 11. I am both a stockholder in Exxon and in another company making obscene profits, Apple Computer and yet as a percentage of total sales Apple’s profits are much higher that Exxon’s. So where is the cry to snatch some of Steve Job’s cash? Not quite the populist ring you get by trying to rob EVIL BIG OIL.

You know who makes the most off a gallon of gas, EVIL BIG GOVERNMENT. Where is the cry from Hillary and Barry Obama to cap the government percentage?  I’ll tell you what, I will be happy to limit EVIL BIG OIL and all other EVIL CAPITALIST ENTERPRISES profit margins if we limit the percentage the government can take from me to the same amount. Any takers? I didn’t think so. Too bad there isn’t some way we could boycott the government, maybe we could drive the price down.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Random Thoughts

May 17, 2008


I was watching ESPN with my son and a commercial for Red Stripe. the Jamaican beer, came on. There is a Black man who is at a bar with a White man and they are dancing. The Black man is smooth and fluid and the White guy looks uncomfortable and awkward. Then the Black man says, “Red Stripe and Reggae helping our white friends to dance for eighty years.”

How offensive and racist is this?  “Jeff,” you say, “this is cute and funny and just playing on a well known stereotype.”  You don’t think so, really? Let’s flip it around. Let’s suppose there was a White guy who dressed up as an employee of a movie theater and a Black guy trying very hard not to yell out during the screening of a movie and the white guy looks at the camera and says, “Ushers and public service announcements, helping out Black friends shut up during the movies for fifty years.” Funny? Cute?  Or is it racist?

Ok, how about this, there is a White cop who has an Asian woman pulled over onto the side of the road and he is writing her a ticket. He looks at the camera and says, “Cops and driving schools helping our Asian friends get the hang of driving for forty years. Hilarious!

Now being a fairly insensitive right wing extremist I have to tell you that I thought the Red Stripe commercial was not offensive. After years of being sniped at by the Clinton’s and Kennedy’s I’m a little thicker skinned that that. I did find it a bit banal but not offensive. But could you imagine the uproar if an ad agency green lighted either one of my ads?


I am also amused by the changing reactions of Mr. Barrack H. Obama. It seems that President Bush took a wide pot shot at him but loosely implying he was an appeaser of terrorist. First he was angry, then it was no big deal, now he is upset again.

If I were Bush I would go on national TV and say, “I didn’t mean say appeaser, what I meant to say was , Ass kissing, cut and run specialist, intellectual light weight, socialist/Marxist apologist, oh, now you are wearing a flag lapel pin flip flopper. But appeaser, no!  But of course I am just dreamer and Bush hasn’t shown any spine since about three weeks after 9/11 so we know that won’t be happening.