The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Getting Rush’s Back

This letter was written to Jay Bookman as a response to his column published originally in the Atlanta Journal Constitution on January 28th.

The link here, if you wish to read the op ed is from a reprint in my local paper.

 http://www.middletownjournal.com/o/content/oh/story/opinions/editorial/2009/01/31/swg013109bookman.html

Dear Mr. Bookman,

 

Thank you for your recent opinion piece on the influence of Mr. Limbaugh. Though the overall tone of the editorial was fair there is one big inaccuracy which I would hope you might correct. There were also several false assumptions which you made, perhaps because of your own political biases.

 

The inaccuracy was in your paraphrasing of Mr. Limbaugh’s quote on the President failing. What Mr. Limbaugh actually said was if Mr. Obama was going to lead us towards some sort of Euro socialism  and away from capitalism that he hoped he failed. He has said that he hoped Mr. Obama saw that a new New Deal was not the way out of our current economic problems and that he supports the President just not his policy. This is a point I made in a recent blog I published on January 4th, 2009 entitle “The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy; We Support Obama.”   

 

The first false assumption you make is done in when you echo the idea in quote from Congressman Gingrey that Mr. Limbaugh isn’t trying to do what is best for his people. You may never agree with a single word that Rush says but you cannot think that he is on one hand an ideologue and at the same time hold that he thinks that advancing his ideology is bad for the country. This would be a logical inconsistency on your part and you seem to be a fairly intelligent and logical guy. As to a strong conservative ideology being bad for the Republican Party, in my world, and I assume in Mr. Limbaugh’s and in your’s, what is best for the country comes before what is good for the party.  

 

Another point I would like to make is that if all the Republican Party is interested in is winning elections we could just all become Democrats. Principles and ideals are important. We have just lived through eight years and an election where the President and our candidate were “moderate” conservatives and to quote that great mid level philosopher Dr Phil, “How did that work out for you?”  I personally would rather walk in the shadow of a man of values and principles like Rush than watch another alleged conservative drive us toward open borders and deeper debts. 

 

Finally as to kissing Mr. Limbaugh’s ring: The difference between Mr. Limbaugh for us conservatives and Mr. Obama for you liberals is that all we have to kiss is his ring.

Jeffrey Jena

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: It Must be Really Tough to be Caroline Kennedy

Someone owes this woman a Senate Seat!

Poor Caroline Kennedy! All of her life she has gotten anything she wanted and never had to work too hard at it. She has taken on some big projects like editing a book of her mother’s poetry. Who knew?  She has put on dazzling fund raisers for the schools in New York City. I am sure she was down there schlepping the tables and putting up the stage lights. Over the years she raised over six million dollars for her charity! Forget the fact she could have written a personal check for twice that amount and never had it change her lifestyle one jot. Where is the fun in that? When you’re writing a check in the privacy of your Long Island estate or in your 75 million square foot Manhattan apartment you don’t get to wear a fancy designer gown or get your picture in the New York Times.

 

So one day Mrs. Schlossberg woke up and thought it would be a great service to America if she volunteered to be a United States Senator. Why not? She was extremely well qualified. Her dad and two uncles had both done it. One of them had served while he was drinking heavily most of the time, so how hard could it be?  She went to law school and had co-written a book about the right to privacy. You know the same murky constitutional right the Roe vs. Wade decision is founded on. Most of all she was a Kennedy and therefore entitled be elevated to rule by divine right.

Her Majesty went around the state and allowed the commoners to touch the hem of her garment and kiss her ring. Then Caroline went home to select her wardrobe for the swearing in ceremony but somehow things got off course. People were saying that maybe the next Senator should have some experience in government in order to represent the people. Then her friends in the media had the nerve to start asking questions. Being royalty isn’t what it used to be. There were rumors about her marriage, family and her employment of illegal aliens. People brought up questions about her passion for the job and looked at her past employment history where she had trouble staying with a job more than a year. You all know how the story ended. She got dumped by Governor Patterson in favor of some woman from upstate who believes in gun rights! Can’t you almost hear it being screamed in John McEnroe voice, “Upstate? Gun rights? You have got to be kidding me!”  

I am sure that Caroline Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg believes that someone owes her a serious apology. She may be right but that line starts right behind Sarah Palin.    

 

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Why Sean Penn Can Be Gay.

I do a bit in my nightclub act about how hard it is to make a suspense thriller in Hollywood today because of political correctness. You can’t make a black man or an Arab the bad guy; that’s racial prejudice. You can’t make a woman the villain or you’re a sexist. If a gay man or woman is the heavy then you are a homophobe and in today’s Hollywood there is no more dangerous career move than going up against La Cosa Finocchio. In the perfect politically correct world of Hollywood there are no Latino gang members, no Arab terrorists, no Black mobsters, no bad gay men or women, or evil straight women. There is only that diabolic oppressor, the middle aged white guy.  So when you go to see a movie like the recent hit “Iron Man” as soon as fat bald middle aged white Jeff Bridges walks on the screen its dollars to donuts that he’s Mr. Big, the head of all evil doings and the one pulling all the strings.

There has also been another interesting movement in Hollywood over the last twenty years. It’s the politically correct movement against acting. There has been a call from inside the acting unions and from activist groups to only cast perfect ethnic and physical matches for roles in film and on television. For example if the script calls for a hearing impaired character you should cast a person who is hearing impaired, no acting required. If you have a role for a Mexican character you should cast an actor who is ethnically Mexican. You should not cast an Italian guy who is a better actor and still looks the part because there is no way that he could “act” Mexican as well as the authentic item. When Tom Hanks and Antonio Banderas were cast in the movie “Philadelphia” to play gay men there was some controversy about straight men playing gay. How could they possibly understand the gay experience under the oppressive straight white man?

So why when Sean Penn was cast to play the iconic gay politician Harvey Milk was there not even a murmur from the gay activist community? I believe it is the same reason that woman’s groups said nothing about the various sexual shenanigans of Bill Clinton; the politics of the offender were so perfectly leftist no foul was called. Bill Clinton was for unfettered abortion and appointed a women to be Surgeon General, Attorney General and Secretary of State, how could he possibly be a sexual harasser? Sean Penn is a leftist’s leftist and leftist do not eat other leftist for breakfast, it just isn’t done.

A final piece of political correctness in Hollywood that drives me up the wall is how the term “actress” is seen as politically incorrect. In the beautiful world of the Screen Actors Guild we are all equal and all known simply as “actors”. Until it comes to handing out the SAG Awards then there is a category for “female actor”. If we are all equal why not just one award for best actor? I think a lot of “female actors” are afraid that too many fat bald middle aged white guys would win, you know how they are!

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy; Just Checking In

Ahh my friends there is nothing like spending a few days in some third world countres to make you long for a hot dog not made from a real dog and some tap water that you can count on despite what the emviromentalists say. I will be returning home today and hitting you with a new blog tomorrow. I can’t wait to get back to all that nice deep white global warming in the midwest!
Strange how as we in Flyoverland struggle with huge heating bills and subzero tempetures how we aren’t seeing a lot of polar bears on ice floes or hearing about how Miami will be underwater in a few weeks. I am still waiting for some greenie to tell me what the optimal average earth temperture for human life might be.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Chilling in Aruba

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy is taking a few days off in Aruba. Even here Obamania is rampant Bumper stickers licence plates, tee shirts, and a lot more. I pretty sure McCain did not carry Aruba but of course they don’t vote but if they would all just sneak into Sothern California they would have a good shot at getting a ballot and a drivers licence. I was really hoping to see a tee shirt with an Obama promise to find Natilie Holloway right after he keeps his promise to get Bin Ladin.
Oh well I have another ice tea to drink and get back to avoiding reality!
Thanks for reading and I’ll be back in a few days

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: All We Have is Hope

Without any hint of irony or sarcasm the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy wishes Barack H. Obama all the best. We can only hope he does what is best for America.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Obama to Create or Save 45 Million Jobs!

 

I may not be a Nobel Prize winning economist like Paul Krugman but it seems to me that creating a ton of government make work jobs isn’t the way out of the economic problems we are experiencing. Mr. Krugman is advocating a new New Deal. Maybe that’s because during economic difficulties economists get a lot of talking head time and the co-eds in Princeton dig a guy on the TV. Maybe it’s because socialists like Krugman still worship at the altar of FDR and see Obama as some sort of FDR/JFK hybrid (you know how they love their hybrids) with a little Clean Gene McCarthy thrown in for good measure. Like I said I am no Nobel Prize winning economist but even a big freakin’ hillbilly like me can figure out that each new government job has to cost the government more than it brings in. If it didn’t the solution to any economic crisis would be to expand the size of government. I believe that was tried in Russia and in the words of the great second level philosopher Dr. Phil. “How did that work for you?”

Soon to be President Obama has promised to either create or save somewhere between ten and three million jobs. I have a few questions. How does the President create jobs? Sure he can expand the number of government employees but are those jobs? Every person who pulls a government check is a drain on the economy from the guy behind the big desk to the person sweeping the floor out at Area 51. The President can try to foster conditions that encourage people who run businesses to hire more people but he can’t actually create those jobs. When the President raises taxes whether it’s on the top three percent of earners or on corporations he discourages the creation of jobs.

More interesting is the stat that the new president has created which is job saves. Exactly how do you tell that you saved a job? There is no subjective way to do this so why not just claim that you have saved the job of every person who is working in the United States today? Why stop there? Why not claim that your policies have kept a few million Chinese working as well? Maybe bailing out falling businesses like GM and AIG actually costs us future jobs in better run companies with better products. Too bad this current idea that some businesses are too big to fail wasn’t around at the turn of the last century we might still have a thriving stagecoach  and bustle manufacturing plants cranking out useless products today!

We conservatives are in a tough spot when it comes to demanding less government spending. Bush trashed the time honored conservative principle that we were against big government by trying to spend his way to popularity with the left. Some drugs for old folks here, an earmark there, a barrel of pork or two and then add a few hugs bailout and pretty soon we are talking serious money. Now true conservatives are in the same position as a reformed compulsive gambler trying to stop his wife from spending.  NO matter how sensible and well reasoned his logic his wife can always remind him of all the money he wasted on his gambling addiction. When conservatives in congress try to put the brakes on runaway spending the liberals can just throw Bush’s deficits in our collective face and continue on their merry socialistic way.

If the inauguration of the new President is any indication the spending in Washington isn’t about to slow down. I know politics has a short term memory problem but back in 2004 the left threw a hissy fit about the Bush committee spending fifty million on his second inauguration. The Obama tab is at 150 and rising in economic hard times. Perhaps the solution to the whole economic problem is for the Obama administration to just keep the whole celebration going for the next four years.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy; Promises, Promises

There is one thing Barack Obama wants more that becoming the first African- American president and that is not becoming the first one term African-American President. The problem he’s facing is that if he keeps several of his campaign promises he is well on his way to becoming the black version of Jimmy Carter.

Mr. Obama is still out there saying he’s going to close Guantanamo on day one. He may do some sort of terrorist emancipation proclamation and say as soon as possible we are going to close the prison but there won’t be a mass release of the terrorists. Imagine you are the guy who shuts down Gitmo and sends a bunch of terrorists back home and a year later one of them explodes a bomb at the Washington Monument. How do you explain to the average American that you thought the rights of terrorists were more important than the lives of American citizens? No, if you let Willie Horton out of prison it’s over for you politically, no matter how much your team cries about negative political ads.

Another promise that will be easier to dodge but is tricky politically is his promise not to torture like Bush did whether it is terrorists, Venezuelan dictators or the English language. I don’t want to get into a long debate about what is and is not torture but because of my experience as a middle school teacher for seven years I am in favor of any interrogation technique that allows you walk away with all of your body parts and most of your sanity.   

Obama may issue an executive order that all terror suspects are to be served tea and crumpets right after their prayer rug is sent out to the dry cleaners but what goes on behind the doors of the secret CIA detention center is a different matter. I know that the incoming president doesn’t want to be the guy who doesn’t water board a suspect who has info about an atomic or dirty bomb that blows half of Chicago into the lake. I don’t think a big “My bad!” will placate the public nor will his assurance that the suspect was not tortured.

The real killer is that he promised the far left peace-at-any-price crowd that we would get out of Iraq. Exactly when we would be out seems to keep changing. one month, six months, as soon as safe, whenever dude! The problem here is that Obama is smart enough to know if we leave Iraq the southern part of the country turns into Talibanstan within a few months which will make his promise to find Bin Laden a lot easier to keep.

 

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy; Obama’s New DIY Bailout Plan

 Change has come to Washington and Barack isn’t even sworn in yet. Tim Geithner, who Mr. Obama wants to run the Treasury, has a new plan for tax rebates and bailing out the common man; don’t pay your taxes!  It’s absolutely brilliant in its simplicity. Instead of waiting for a balky congress to release fund, craft oversight regulations or for government bureaucrats to cut and mail checks simply keep a bunch of what you owe the government. 

Mr. Geithner is truly an economic genius! He has crafted some new business deductions like your kid’s summer camp expenses and the new International Monetary Fund Employee Exemption. Here again he has shown initiative by bypassing that pesky tax code and setting an example for the average citizen that when he’s the big cheese over the IRS we can all just obey whichever pasts of the tax law we deem important.

That is a big change. I have had a few run ins with those sensitive souls at the IRS for a lot less money than Timbo. The difference between the IRS and the Mafia is that once you’re dead the Mafia will stop trying to collect from you. They didn’t let me have six or seven years to settle up. They were sending me letter making me feel like if I didn’t pay up quick I could end up in Gitmo or a Daily Kos meeting.

So, rest easy this April 15^th,  Don’t quake in fear or even worry about sending in your payment, you have a friend in the Treasury Department!  

 

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Prince Harry, Our Kind of Guy

The old guard dying print and network media has their shorts up their collective crack about Prince Harry. Seems the Prince used two terms that were deemed politically incorrect by the media. The first was “Paki” used towards Ahmed Raza Kahn, a guy who he spent several months fighting alongside on the front lines in Afghanistan. His second crime was that he said another friend looked like a “Raghead” a term of endearment usually reserved for the enemy.

Forget the fact that this guy volunteered to be on the front lines against the Taliban when he could have opted for some cush gig back home. Let’s set aside the fact that the media leaking the fact that Prince Harry was serving in a combat zone put his life in even greater jeopardy and he was still willing to stay and serve out his rotation.  The idea that a son of privilege was willing to do the hard things and then chose to act like any other solider is so unfathomable to liberals in the media that they look for any minor reason to condemn this brave young man. Because he acts like a real man to the liberal media he is a thug and a racist.

I’m gonna guess that when the camera wasn’t rolling there may have been a lot of off color sexual and ethnic banter between men who were willing to put their lives on the line for Grandma and country. I’m gonna guess someone got called a “mick” or a “limey”, an upper class twit, or even a “poof”. There may have even been some “mama” jokes about Princess Diana.  “Your mama’s so dead…”

Had Harry stayed home and taken an anti-war stance, frosted his hair and started dating Amy Winehouse he would have been hailed as bold and brave by these same media idiots. They have proved their bias time and time again by either backing or saying nothing when real insults were made. Where was the outrage when Russell Brand called the President a “retard”? Where was the outrage when a sitting U.S. Congressman, John Murtha called our brave men “cold blooded murders”?  A charge later proved to be false with never an apology from the Congressman.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy would trade Bush, Obama, and Clinton and the rest of the Ivy League dilettantes who have been running this country for the last twenty year for one real man with some spine like Prince Harry.