The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy; We Give Thanks as Atheists Celebrate Random Chance Day

If you are truly an atheist and believe in life as a result of random chance then what do you do this Thursday? It seems that if you are giving thanks then there must be someone or something you are giving thanks to, n’est-ce pas? I have always felt sorry for non-believers on Thanksgiving and when they need to utter a good expletive.  I feel this is why F*** Y** has become so popular in our time, so many folks are missing out on more basic curses because they don’t fit their world view. “Go to hell!” How can you if hell doesn’t exist? “God D***”? Not for you Mr. Science.  What does an atheist say when he drops a cinder block on his toe? Curse you randomness!

   So The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy would like to take a moment give thanks for all we have been given in the past year.

A big thanks to George Bush for finally finding the gumption to grant clemency to Campean and Ramos. They deserve a full pardon but don’t get me started on the Greatest Democrat President ever.

Thanks for Sarah Palin. Love her or hate her The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy likes anything that sends the far left into apoplectic fits.

Thanks for Joe Wurzelbacher AKA Joe the Plumber. Because of him the true nature of the leftists here in Ohio has been shown. Right to privacy? For abortions, of course, but not for simple guys who dare to question He Who Is. There are so many upsides to this story, chaos in Columbus for Governor Strickland who stood by the toady who used state time and computers to violate Joe’s civil rights. A huge settlement is coming Joe’s way thanks to a lawsuit about to be filed. At least one middle class person will be helped by a Democrat this year.

Thanks for John McCain. Maybe his defeat will finally teach conservatives that trying to please the media and the left is an exercise in futility. They will turn on you as soon as it suits their purpose. That should be a warning for you too, Barack.

Thanks to all of the Black and Latino voters in California who voted for Proposition 8.  Gay activist are stirring things up against the Mormon Church but they have withstood worse. Why aren’t gay leftists out protesting in Black and Latino neighborhoods or at Black and Latino Churches? Because they know they would get their asses handed to them on a platter. Leftists think the Black and Latino votes were “fooled” into voting for Prop 8, another sign of their racist and condescending attitudes. The fact is that a gay man has exactly the same rights as I have when it comes to marriage; he’s free to marry any woman he wants.  You don’t want to marry a woman? Hey, I don’t want to drive a Ford but that doesn’t give me the right to a Ferrari.

Thanks to the Clintons for not going quietly. Who knows what kind of fun they will dredge up for us over the next four years?

Finally and maybe most of all, thanks for every man and woman who is standing a post tonight. I will sleep easier knowing you are out there. I will try to think of you with every bite of pumpkin pie and turkey I take.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: They’re Back! Meet the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss

 

Now that the Barack Obama has asked America to open wide to swallow Hillary as Secratary of State it is interesting to note an odd phenomenon. Let’s call it qualification reversal. Just a few months ago in the primaries, you remember the primaries that short period of time when Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Obama were speaking the truth about each other. Hillary was saying Obama was naïve and not ready to lead. In return the Obamatons were pooh-poohing Hillary’s claim that her time as first lady was foreign policy experience.

Just a few months later and abracadabra presto, Mrs. Clinton is praising Mr. Obama’s strong leadership qualities and He Who Is has picked her who wasn’t as the best person in the country to be the front for our new foreign policy. Yet there are still some of you who don’t believe in miracles! Maybe this is the change you can believe in but I believe that something more sinister is afoot.

Over the last few weeks I have been waggishly saying that this new administration was going actually going to be a continuation of the failed economic and foreign policy of Jimmy Carter but now I must admit I was wrong. In the most Machiavellian turn of events since the DeMedicis took over the Vatican this is shaping up to be the return of Bill Clinton. Although the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy has never been a big fan of Billy Boy we do admire him in the same way that Patton admired Rommel. This guy has now installed a puppet government with many of his former lackeys in place. All we need is for Janet Reno and the ghost of Vince Foster to get appointments and the old gang will all be here. When he saw his wife’s campaign unraveling he quickly took action. He dispatched Bill Richardson to the Obama side with orders to start sucking up. Other former Clintonistas David Axelrod, Jamie Gorelick and Greg Craig were already deep inside the Obama camp and ready to strike.

So now Bill has out Putined Putin. His shadow administration is in place and ready to take orders from their master. These former Clinton employees are already set for key positions. Gregory Craig, the Clinton impeachment defender is now White house Counsel. Eric Holder, the liberator of Marc Rich is now appointed to be the new Attorney General. Larry Summers, Peter Orszaig and Tim Geithner, Clinton loyalists all, are the Obama economic team. Mrs. Clinton will be at the foreign policy helm for her husband by running the State Department. There are others but perhaps the key man in the Clinton Coup is John Podesta.  The former White House advisor is running the transition team, how perfect for getting hundreds of sleeper Clintonisas into not only front line but second and third tier jobs.

You cannot fundamentally change the culture of Washington and the way business is done if you simply promote the old middle management to the front office. Bill Clinton, once called the first Black President, is now poised to run the second Black President’s White House by proxy.  

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Not Carter 2 but Clinton 3

It may be that I pegged the Obama Administration wrong. It’s not going to be Carter’s second term but Clinton’s third. Bill Clinton is out-Putining Putin by having Barack be his puppet president when he pulls the strings through all of his old flunkies running the show. I knew we had not seen the end of the Clinton’s. This plan of Bill’s to get a third term is beyond great. It is better than aving his wife in the Oval Office!  Change?  Any of you Reagan Democrats what to change who you voted for?

Is this the way we fundmentally change the way Washington works? 

I am writing more on this topic for next week along with the top ten stupidest congressmen.

Thanks for reading

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Obama Breaks First Campaign Promise

We all know that the promises of a political candidate are like those of a Hollywood agent or horny teen-aged boy in the back seat, loosely made and easily broken. I don’t know if there is a legal defense for not keeping your word given in the heat of passion but Mr. Obama has sent signals that one of his most reported promises may be off the table.

A few nights ago the Obama’s sat down for a 60 minutes interview with alleged journalist Steve Kroft. The Obama’s gave their first interview since the election to the CBS’s news division as a reward for being the first major news organization to endorse him. “It’s only fair,” said an inside source at CBS, “since we were way deeper in the tank and will continue to support the President-Elect no matter how badly he screws up.” In one of the biggest pieces of fluff to hit the airwaves since Barney the Obama’s gave insight into their kitchen habits and other matters of gravitas. The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy doesn’t doubt that Mr. Obama finds comfort in doing the dished but finds it hard to believe that they don’t own a dishwasher. 

The most significant point in the interview was when the Obama’s sent signals to their youngest constituents that the Puppy Plan may be off the table. While saying that Guantanamo will still be closed despite the fact that doing so will paralyze the Federal Court system, and affirming his commitment to find Bin Laden Mrs. Obama has put the dog on hold.  Mrs. Obama said that the dog might be too much for the President Elect to handle but her mother would not be.

It is obvious that the backing away from this promise is a signal to the public that in the Obama administration any promise no matter to whom can be forgotten.

Both Sasha and Malia have declined comment, a sign all may not be well in Obamaland.

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Day 12 of Waiting for Jimmy Carter’s Second Term to Begin

Dear Readers and other Right Wing Conspiracy Nut Job Friends

I will be posting another new blog tomorrow but for today check out my link posted yesterday to Obama’s Cabinet and enjoy these words of wisdom for PJ and read “Parliment of Whores”  

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.      P. J. ORourke 

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.   P. J. O’Rourke

Secret Obama Document Leaked to VRWC

Click on this link to see the Obama Dream Team!

 

http://www.jeffreyjena.com/ob.html

Day 9 of Waiting for the Beginning of Jimmy Carter’s Second Term

 

Thank you fo reading my blogs. I will post a new essay tomorrow, meanwhile here is a quote from the second greatest American. 

 

I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary, too many parasites living on the labor of the industrious.

Thomas Jefferson

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Will the last person not on the dole please punch in and get busy?

The problem with bailouts, aside from the fact they promote socialism, take away the incentive to succeed, allow crappy businesses to continue, stifle innovation, prevent morons from making needed career changes, and generally screw up the economy, is that they don’t work.

I am trying to think of a business that got on the government dole and never came back for more. I am trying to think of one business that was actually made stronger by being bailed out. I am trying to think of any government payout program that ever got smaller much less went away. I can’t. Once you start passing out free money it’s hard to stop.  

The line to get some free cash will just keep getting longer. Here we are bailing out AIG and countless other Wall Street firms, automakers, airlines and this morning American Express fronted up with their hat in hand. Steel makers are getting ready to ask for some spare change and why not! The State of California is running 28 billion in the red this year and may ask Uncle Sugar for some cabbage to help support to millions of “non-citizens”, (the latest PC term of illegal aliens), sucking the life out of the Golden State.  Hey I have a night club that isn’t doing too well I wonder if I could get a billion or two? In the past we have built billion dollar sports stadiums for ultra-wealthy team owners so they wouldn’t move their three hundred minimum wage jobs to some other city full of suckers.

Not to be outdone by the corporate world the private citizen also has his hand out for a handout. Some forty million “tax payers” get a “refund” even though they put in nothing thanks to the earned income tax credit, a welfare program Mr. Obama has pledged to expand. Then there are homeowners who want the government to pick up the tab for houses they couldn’t afford to begin with, another welfare program that seems have bi-partisan support. So here is my question, am I the only person who is too stupid to be on the dole?   We ran out of money a long time ago and at some point in the very near future our collective credit card will be maxed out. Sure the folks in D.C. can crank up the printing presses and soon we will all need an SUV to have enough room for all the inflated cash we will need to pay for our double cheeseburger at the drive thru. Yet everyone in Washington is talking about another round of stimulus checks. If I did what the government is doing I’d be upstate doing 3 to 5 for writing hot checks.

My suggestion is that as a nation we go cold turkey. No more hand outs for anyone. Welfare is a lot like heroin. It may relieve pain in the short run but it is highly addictive. What America needs is a Betty Ford clinic for our addiction to a government check.  

A message to the Free People of Minnesota on Day 7 of Waiting for Jimmy Carter’s Second Term to Begin

 

In a strange statistical anomaly the only mistakes made in counting votes in Minnesota favor the left, odd! Here is what another leftist said about elections… 

“The people who cast the votes do not decide an election. The people who count the votes do.” - Joseph Stalin

The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy; A History Lesson for Day 6 While Waiting for Jimmy Carter’s Second Term to Begin,

I have watched Barack Obama’s first press conference several times over the weekend thanks to the miracle of You Tube. Before I get into the substance, or lack thereof, in this softball fest, let me make a few observations.

Is “Mr. President-Elect” an official title?  I went back to see if the press addressed either Clinton or Bush II as “Mr. President-Elect” and found them both being addressed as “Governor” at pre-inauguration pressers. I believe he is still a senator from the state of Illinois. He should be addressed as “Senator Obama” until January 20^th.   He is still getting a paycheck from the government for his service even though I don’t think he’s been doing too much work as a Senator for the last two years. If it is proper to be addressed by titles which you will have someday please address me as “Your Highness” from now on, I am a king I just don’t have a kingdom right now.

It was pretty obvious that who was going to get to ask a question was predetermined. Before every question Mr. Obama looked down to the podium and then called a name. I wonder if the questions were prepackaged as well. All of the questioners were former journalists who had become cheerleaders for the Obama camp during the race. Can you say “control freak”?

It seems that Barack has some secret plan to fix the economy. During his pseudo-conference he said he would get things straightened out as soon as he took over. It seems he doesn’t want to step on any toes or send the wrong signal to folks overseas. After two years of hammering the Bush White House he is suddenly concerned about respect for the administration policies and making sure other folks understand we only have one government at a time.

As the president of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy I have some empathy for Mr. Obama. I too am a bit of a paranoid who sees the forces of conspiracy behind every door and around every corner too. Why not unveil this plan now? Is he afraid that Bush will conspire with the Democrat congress in the lame duck session to enact his plan and get the economy all squared away in the next seven weeks? You know who else has a secret plan? Richard Milhous Nixon in ’72 had a secret plan to get us out of Viet Nam.  He announced his plan as part of his re-election campaign. Why he didn’t simply enact his plan, end the war and save hundreds of lives is something even then I didn’t understand.  So Mr. Obama if you have a plan lay it out for us and lets us examine it and debate it’s plus and minuses. If you don’t have a plan, get one.